Held every year at the World Trade Center, the #FHM100Sexiest Victory Party sets the unofficial world record for eliciting the most number of boners in a public venue.
But really, is it a good thing? All the hypnotic dancing, the barely-there nipple tapes, and the naked women? Do you really want that? Wouldn't you just rather watch game shows on TV? Or play Lucky 9 with your mates?
So, what I'm really saying is, if ever a ticket for the next Victory Parties land on your lap, I have one advice: Bigay niyo na lang sa'kin. At the very least, you can, err, prevent any of the eight "consequences" below from happening to you!
1) The sheer number of hot girls in one place will give you a heart attack. Looking at all those pretty ladies wearing next to nothing is like eating crispy pata: It’s not good for your heart. Health over libog, guys!
2) The shortage of clothes will remind you of how corruption has made us all poor. All the smiling
women, dressed like they really can’t afford regular clothes to cover their juicy lady parts, will
remind you how we can't even provide the basic necessity of clothing anymore!
3) Cougars (ahem, the ageless Alice Dixson) will be too much of a surprise! And what sane pogi wants the element of surprise when it comes to sexiness? Boring and predictable are the way to go!
Above: too much excitement
4) You might pity the females manning the booths. What kind of man fantasizes about girls who want nothing more than to give you pleasure through kalandiang servitude? Hindi naman nakaka-turn-on ang mga sexy na French maid na maikli ang palda, eh!
Or cow girls na cute! I am no affected. I am not affected. I am not affected