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One Night Stan: 9 Fictional Women I Love to Hate (If Only They Weren't So Hot)
Master Suplado Stanley Chi shows us his most <em>suplado</em> side as he lambasts fictional characters that men neither can't live with nor live without!
by Stanley Chi | Nov 15, 2014
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Thanks to cheap cable and the comfy new couch I have at home, I’ve been watching too much TV lately. I’ve been living the couch-potato life, enjoying the laziness brought about by the wonderful tandem of technology and upholstery. And though my new-found addiction to everything television has a lot to offer, I couldn’t help but notice one important thing…

Hindi lahat ng bidang babae ay nakakatuwa!

Some of them are just outright annoying. I’d be relieved if the writers decided to kill them off, just to save the other protagonists from the misery of having to deal with their personalities. Yet, part of me wants to keep seeing these annoying women, especially the hot ones.

Whether on TV or in comic books, there will always be a hot chick who can annoy the hell out of you. Maybe she’s too brusko and doesn’t use her brain much. Maybe she’s arrogant or just plain kupal. These pretty women can push your buttons, even if you know they’re fictional. That's how annoying they are.

So Lord, please make sure the women below remain fictional; otherwise, kawawa ang mga lalake sa kanila

Lois Lane

HATE: Oh, yes, Superman’s girlfriend is a . There, I said it, sort of. If you've read the comics, Lois Lane is one of the pushiest reporters around. Sobrang daming tanong.

LOVE: Unfortunately she has the looks and the smarts. Can you think of anyone except Superman who would want to save her over and over again? Okay, we would but for the love of God, give us earplugs!

   Catwoman (Batman)

HATE: If I get to meet her in some surreal reality-meets-fiction scenario, I would rather keep my distance than risk losing my wallet, thank you very much. You simply just can't trust her. Aside from being the stereotype cat lady, she’s also a burglar who had the nerve to betray her boyfriend (Batman) over and over again.

LOVE: Okay, Selina Kyle knows how to pull off a tight, shiny outfit, I’ll give her that. One other thing I like about her is her whip–I can just imagine her putting Fifty Shades of Grey to shame if she uses her whip just right. (Disclaimer: Hindi ko pa nababasa ang Fifty Shades, but given the promising sex scenes, I’ll watch the movie. You know, for research purposes.)

Continue reading below ↓

Fujiko Mine (Lupin III)

HATE: If you like watching the iconic anime Lupin, I’m sure you’re familiar with Fujiko. She's the gal who uses her looks to deceive men, frequently double-crossing her biggest admirer, Lupin.

LOVE: She has exceptionally large breasts. And in case you haven’t watched Lupin, here’s one good reason you should: Parating nahuhubaran si Fujiko!

Rachel Zane (Suits)

HATE: Meagan Markle’s character in the TV series Suits is what I’d like to call the episode downer. She alternates between a smart paralegal who does stupid things at work and a damsel in distress who constantly needs saving. Matalino ba talaga siya o tanga? Ano ba talaga gusto niyang mangyari?

LOVE: I don’t know why Patrick J. Adams’ character loves Rachel to bits, other than she’s hot and good in bed. (Okay, that might be reason enough.)

   Poison Ivy (Batman)

LOVE: Pamela Isley is a woman who can put any man under her spell as long as she gives the guy a kiss. (Parang yung manggagamit lang na kakilala niyo, ano?)

HATE: But there’s a reason I don’t really imagine myself hooking up with her: She has already locked lips with dozens of other men! Kissing her would be like kissing all those other men who have fallen prey to her wiles. Kadiri, ha. Ayoko sa syota ng bayan. (Also: there are rumors that her kisses can kill! OMFG!)

Bella Swan (Twilight)

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