Libog never really goes away; for people like us, it’s there to stay. Rhyming aside, I know how hard it is for someone pogi to scratch that itch without looking like a perv. That’s why I’m sharing with you these nine homemade sex toys, all of which you can fashion for yourself in under five minutes!
Read on, dear pasimpleng manyak, and find out how you can get your hands on a homemade pussy!
9 Sex Toys You Can Find at Home
Don’t worry, it’s not like you’ll need power tools to get your very own custom-made sex gadgets. As is the case in life, all you need is a little diskarte! (Okay, you’ll also need some tape and scissors, but you get my point.)
1) Feather duster or makeup brush
(image via tinysophisticate.com)
Do you (or your girlaloo) have a tickle fetish? Even if you don’t, a simple feather duster or makeup brush can serve as tickle toys, making your usual routine kinkier.
Here’s what I believe: Make a girl laugh in bed with you (remember: with, not at) and she’s not gonna want to leave.
2) Plastic fly swatter
(Image via peacefulwife.com)
Spanking is so last year. Give your minor-league S&M act a fresh spin with a brand new toy: a plastic insect swatter! It’s something you can use during role-play. Pretend she’s the sexy maid who broke the vase…and you’re just giving her the punishment she deserves when you swat her butt while doing it doggy-style.
3) Nokia 3310 cellphone
(Image via sarahsocialmediaforpr.com)
Remember the days when Nokia still made the 3310 bar phone? When you set it to vibrate and put it on the table, it jumps around like it has to pee. If you can still get your hands on one, it might make a nifty vibrator for your horny partner! Just set it to vibrate, place in girlaloo’s strategic spot, and call it using your own cellphone. Keep calling until she keeps cumming.
4) Neckties, belts, and handkerchiefs
(Image via wikipedia.org)
If you’re too cheap to buy handcuffs (or too afraid to lose the keys), just go to your closet and fish out a necktie, belt, or hanky. And they’re more useful than you think: The belt doubles as a whip while the handkerchief can serve as a blindfold.
Speaking of hitting two birds with one stone, you can use all three to please your girl while showing her who’s boss! (Huwag ka kasing ander-de-saya all the time.)
5) Panties or briefs
(Image via overstock.com)
Is she so noisy in bed that your nosy kapitbahay is starting to wonder what the two of you are up to? Here’s something you can do to silence her without telling her to shut up: Use underwear to gag her!
As soon as you take off her panties, put them in her mouth and tell her you’re roleplaying. I’m sure she’ll love it if you whisper in her ear, “Sige, mag-ingay ka lang.”