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One Night Stan: Paano Dumiskarte Kapag Wala Kang Kotse

Paano na ang date kung walang kotse? We've got the most ingenious solutions here! 
by Stanley Chi | Oct 16, 2015

Life is so unfair. Sa pogi kong ito, naranasan ko parin ang mabasted…just because I don’t drive my own car.

When I was still young and naïve, I noticed that my good looks didn’t get me as far as I thought it would in matters of the heart. At the end of the day, it was always the conyo kid with a car who got the girl. For a lot of girls, the nicer the car, the more pogi the guy.

Look at the cars that make such a racket as they drive past you in the otherwise quiet streets of BGC and Greenhills. Chances are, whoever is behind the wheels is either a rich old man or a rich young guy who looks like a rich old man. Still, women flock to them like money-hungry moths to a flame.

Too bad for guys like me who don’t have a car to boast of. Paano na kung walang kotse?


I Have A Plan

First impressions last. Just because you don’t have wheels doesn’t mean you have the perfect excuse to ignore your date’s commuting plans.

If anything, you have to make an even better impression than other guys who have cars. All they have to do is show up and the car is there, giving them the pogi points they need. How about you? How do you win over a girl kahit wala kang oto?

There are five things I can think of that can even the score. (You can have fun with these hashtags, by the way, as you will see soon enough.)


1)  
#OperationPreparation

Going on a date? Be a logistics expert. Plan ahead so that you look like you’re a man in charge of his life.

Let’s face it—without a car, your aura doesn’t exactly exude power and clout. Hailing a cab for thirty minutes while your date chokes on exhaust fumes because you forgot to download Uber is in no way romantic.

If you want to look self-sufficient to a girl, it is not the time to say, “Bahala na si Batman.” If you don’t know which movie to watch, what restaurant to go to, or how to get from one place to another, it’s as if you left your balls at home.

Malas nalang kung ito ang ipinadala ng Uber sa 'yo. 

Continue reading below ↓


2)   
#HateLate

Yes, wala kang kotse. But please don’t tell me na wala ka ring relo.

Making your date hold her breath just might piss her off. You know how the traffic situation is, so make it easy for the both of you. Be on time. Don’t wait for your date to call it all off.


3)   
#AmazingAlibi

Always have a creative excuse for why you don’t have a car. You can say an alien beamed up your car. Or maybe your car is actually a Transformer, and it ran away after being paged by the other Autobots.

"Ang gusto ko talaga kasi mag hiking date tayo.Sweet 'di ba?"


The more ridiculous, the better. Your date is bound not to believe it, but she’s sure to laugh at your brazenness. And believe me, when you’re funny, you’re one step away from being sexy.


4)   
#TriangleOfTemptation

You don’t have a car, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have money to spend. Remember the Triangle of Temptation: a pretty face, a pleasing personality, and a big salary.

Most women deny looking for the last of these three, but you better believe that it’s an important criterion to them. Put simply, ayaw nila ng lalakeng palamunin.

However, not everyone gets lucky in terms of money or job stability. So, if you only scored two out of three, replace what you lack with something the Lord has blessed you with: a big bututoyOo, pwede na yun.


 
5)   #PoserPoints

Remember how so many love gurus tell you to just be yourself? Mark my words: That’s pure BS.

I say, don’t be yourself—at least, not completely. I’m sure you do a lot of disgusting things when you’re “being yourself”, like picking your nose or scratching your balls. Nope, being yourself is the last thing a date wants you to do, no matter what she says.

Relationships strengthen over time. Once you’ve formed a stronger bond, then you can reveal more of who you are. She will be more accepting of your flaws once you are no longer a stranger.

Just be yourself daw, oKalokohan. Unless, of course, you’re as classy as fellow pogi Alden Richards.  


Which works for you? Tweet your answer! 

Continue reading below ↓

Now, here’s the fun part. Which of the five methods above strikes you as the most effective?

In a tweet, tell me why and use the hashtag corresponding to your choice. Don’t forget to mention me, @stanleychi – I’ll be happy to retweet you as my way of introducing you to the many beautiful women who follow me on Twitter. You’re welcome!


About the author: 
Stanley Chi is every man’s man. He wrote the books Suplado TipsPogi PointsChicken Mami for the Sawi, and the bestseller Men Are From QC, Women Are From Alabang. His most recent book, One Night Stan, is now available in bookstores nationwide. Stanley is also a comedian-host and social media genius with a weekly Facebook reach of 4 million (advertisers, pay attention). Follow him on Twitter and Instagram (@stanleychi), or subscribe to his column here on FHM!

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