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One Night Stan: Why #MOMOLReady is the New Mr. Swabe!

<em>FHM</em>'s Master Suplado explains why it's time you ditch your <em>pang-kontrabida bigote</em>
by Stanley Chi | Nov 11, 2013
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Stanley Chi
If you’re really pogi, you probably have a tendency to think about what to do with your facial hair.

Look at the likes of Jun Sabayton, Jose Rizal, Marcelo del Pilar, and Dolphy. They are chick magnets! But not all men are like them. Hindi lahat ng lalake, kayang dalhin ang bigote. Women want men with a full moustache – well, that’s what they used to say when bell-bottom jeans were still uso. Nowadays, women can do away with the excess facial hair.

You don’t believe me? Take a look at these fellas: James Bond, Ashton Kutcher, and Charlie Sheen. They’re chick boys, but who among them recently sport facial hair? Wala, ‘di ba?

Now, take a look at these guys: Romy Diaz, Ned Flanders, and Rez Cortez. Do you want to be stereotyped as belonging to their group? Gwapo man sila, parati namang kontrabida sa mata ng tao.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is clean-shaven guys (like myself) are the new Mr. Swabe. And you know what else? They're the new #MOMOLReady too. Yes, bro. It's a win-win situation. Allow me to explain why:

Why You Should Ditch the Bigote
You have a lot to gain when you get rid of that higad above your upper lip. Let me teach you what your barkada don’t have the time to tell you about facial hair because they’re too busy thinking about what they will do with their girlaloo:

1. Magmumukha kang bata. Without the moustache dragging your nose down, you can do what Vic Sotto and George Clooney can do. That is, reach a wider demographic of women.

2. “The boy next door” ang image mo. Women like guys who look harmless. They won’t have qualms bringing you home and introducing you to their parents. Dagdag pogi points, ‘di ba? You don’t want them to think of you as their friendzoned, tito-type guy when they have problems with that other guy they actually like.

3. What the chicks see is what the chicks get. They will notice your kissable lips and your pa-cute dimples. Ask the girls around you and they’re more likely to say, “Type ko yung malinis” instead of “Type ko yung madumi na mukhang taong-grasang walang pambili ng pang-ahit.

NEXT: People can describe you better without a moustache

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