Okay. Time for some #realtalk. Who here thinks sex is not important in a relationship?
If you raised your hand, I suggest throwing out that traditionalist palda bunched up between your legs. If you didn't, then let's get to our point: Sex is a big deal in a relationship. Contrary to popular belief though, sex isn't always just about the kamanyakan in the bedroom. (Well, okay, what makes it fun is the kamanyakan, but that's not our point today.)
Our point today, class, is that sex has its own set of exclusive, intimate languages that a couple speaks only to each other. (Naks, deep.) It's true, bro.
And for the sex to keep on getting better, you should step your game up from basic-level kamanyakan. You can do so by learning to speak the five sex languages that play a part in creating that beautiful bedroom atmosphere. Do you know which one your girl speaks in bed? I'm telling you: Identifying it is tantamount to pleasing your girl consistently.
Unfortunately, when it comes to the five sex languages, some of us are linguists while others are absolute illiterates. So here's a crash course to make sure that you and your partner both understand each other's language in bed.
1) Words, Or More Specifically, Words of Sexual Affirmation
Does your girl like hearing words of encouragement while she services you? If this is the language she speaks, be as verbal as you can about how good she is in bed. Don’t run out of words like, “Ang galing mo” or “Ang sarap mo.” Although not words per se, verbal cues are also part of the language she wants to hear. For instance, you might want to moan loudly to show her that she’s giving you the best head you’ve ever had.
when she "whispers" something in your ear
2) Quality (Sexy) Time
If your girl speaks this sex language, you should keep your orgasms in check. Your mantra: “She must come before I do.” Girls who speak this sex language hate the whole “Wham, bam, thank you ma’am” deal. She wants you to spend more time in bed with her if you want her to feel sated. In short, learn to cuddle properly after sex. If you can do that, then congratulations, bro! You speak this language like a pro.
3) Receiving Gifts—Erotic Gifts To Be Exact
She might not care for words or quality time, but she loves it when you bring her toys of pleasure. She wants nothing more than to “cum out and play.” (See what we did there?) To satisfy her appetite, surprise her with sex toys of different shapes and sizes. Don’t be shy—she’s probably the type to fantasize about Christian Grey spanking her behind. And if she’s adventurous enough, she’ll be open to experimenting. Think of the possibilities! Vibrators, anal sex, and even threesomes! To each his own, bro.
up your mouth. Pero kung trip mo, hindi kita pipigilan
4) Acts of Lustful Service
A woman who prefers this sex language enjoys something particularly kinky: roleplaying. Think hentai movies with French maids, except that you’re the maid and she's the boss. One day, she’s the strong, independent woman and you’re the weak, submissive sex slave. The next day, you’re a student and she’s the teacher who seduces you. She will order you around during sex—enjoy the moment.
The drawback: At her beck and call, you will probably do most of the work while she just spreads her legs. To turn things around, galingan mo kasi. Once she begs for more, heed her request…but only if she allows you to dominate her. Man up, we say!
5) Horny Physical Touch
Does she like kissing you and teasing you all the livelong day? This is then her native tongue. To please her, make sure you have your foreplay and MOMOL techniques down pat. Learn to multitask. Use your hands, mouth, facial hair—you name it, she wants you to touch her with it. Get ready for a lot of stolen manyak touches when you’re on a date, pogi. Be kapal-muks enough for the occasional public display of affection—you know, the type that makes people want to look away.
put me on the floor, wrestle me around, play with me some more
Got all that? I know women are hard to figure out, but it helps if you find out which particular sex language she speaks the most. It's possible that she speaks more than one or two of these languages proficiently. The trick is determining which ones you can concentrate on mastering that will pay huge dividends for her and consequently, for you. Once you determine her preferred sex language, remember to use it as often as possible. Like they say, “Walang hindi nadadaan sa mabuting usapan.” Bedroom-speak, included.
Once you’ve mastered all five sex languages like I have, you will be a sex linguist. Believe you me, that’s as close as you can get to being a sex god!
About the author: Stanley Chi penned the books Suplado Tips, Pogi Points, and the National Bookstore bestseller Men Are From QC, Women Are From Alabang. His most recent book, Chicken Mami for the Sawi, is now available in bookstores nationwide. Stanley is also a comedian, host, and brand ambassador. Follow him on Instagram (@supladotips), Twitter (@stanleychi), or subscribe to his blog!