Be yourself – that’s what they always say. In an ideal world where girls don’t judge us based on how baduy or jologs we are, that just might be wise advice.
But if you live in the real world, if you’re too nice, don’t be yourself.
It’s the nice guys who always end up in the friend zone and the bad boy types who end up winning the girl. That’s mighty fine, unless you don’t like being single.
Not that I’m against being single, of course. Singleblessedness is great if it’s your choice, not because you have no choice and nobody in the whole wide world—not one of the 7 billion people populating the planet—sees enough good in you to actually be in a relationship with you. What’s sad is that you might actually make a great boyfriend (and husband), if only you knew how not to creep women out whenever they try to strike up a conversation.
8 WAYS WE CAN PLAY HARD TO GET
Women can smell our desperation. They get turned off when they see us drooling like mad dogs, dahil lang patay na patay tayo sa kanila.
Ever heard of my mantra “Suplado is the new sexy”? I wasn’t just being a jerk when I said that, nor was I simply making it up, as you can see in this study.
Learning to play it cool earns you pogi points, which is why I always say this: Magpakipot ka naman. Yes, pagpapakipot isn’t exclusive to girls. If they can play hard to get, so can we!
1) THE PATIENT PLAYAH
Huwag ka kaagad magrereply sa text. Wait about an hour before replying so that you don’t seem like an eager beaver with nothing interesting going on in his life except replying to a text message from a potential partner.
Don’t reply with kilometric sentences, either. Keep it short but sweet. There’s no need na sagarin ang pagtext just so your peso doesn’t go to waste.
Do it right, and siya pa ang magpapa-picture sayo!
2) THE FICKLE-MINDED SUITOR
Don’t be kaladkarin. If your crush asks you out, you really shouldn’t be the first one to nod.
When you send mixed signals, your crush will find you interestingly mysterious. Just like that, you’re no longer “that makulit guy who keeps texting”, but “this guy I can’t figure out but want to”. Level up yan, ‘tol.
3) THE BEST ACTOR
Yes, she knows you like her. Her best friend knows you like her. Her father’s gym instructor’s jogging buddy’s cousin’s wife knows you like her. Ang obvious mo kasi—and that’s not always a good thing.
Chill ka lang dapat. When you act disinterested, you better make it look believable. If your acting sucks, she will figure it all out. Naku, lagot ka niyan.
4) THE BUSY BEE
Guess what? May karapatan ka ring magka-life.
You don’t always have to be there like you’re some slave, because you’re not. You don’t need to be at her beck and call—hindi ka aliping sagigilid, whether or not your face claims otherwise.
No don't dress up like a bee, stupid!
5) THE MIND MANIPULATOR
No, they are not weak. Go ahead, tell a girl you have a rather tight schedule so that she learns to work with it. After all, in this world of equal opportunities, a give-and-take relationship is called for.
Playing mind games with girls is not the same as disrespecting them. It’s giving them credence as being our equals in the games we play. Don’t worry; marunong silang makipagsabayan. Sila pa.
6) THE TROPHY BOYFRIEND
You know who you are. You’re the best accessory a woman can ever wear. You, my dear friend, are a trophy worth displaying to everyone. Or maybe, you’re not.
If that’s the case, then let’s learn from the trophy boyfriends of the world. Work hard to improve yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Yes, she’ll notice. Work on your table manners, too —eat spaghetti like a prince, not like a patay-gutom. Go to the gym and work on your abs. Consult a dermatologist to get rid of those blackheads.
Plot twist: She just might be the one to ask you out…and you’ll be the one to turn her down with these words: “Magwo-work out pa ako eh, saka may dinner pa ako mamaya." #burn
7) THE IGNORE-AMUS
Sometimes, you don’t know exactly what to say when she sends you a passive-aggressive PM on Facebook. Sometimes, she sends you a text message that looks more like a puzzling parinig than a hello. What do you do when you find yourself in such a conundrum?
Simple lang: Ignore.
Don’t be affected by emotional blackmail. Don’t be affected by comments na pahaging. If she can’t give it to you straight, neither should you. It’s not like women should be the only ones with a #GoGirl hashtag! #GoGuy
Even if she sends you a nude photo, play it cool like Adam here:
8) THE DARING DOUCHE
Give her compliments with veiled insults. For example, you can say, “Pumapayat ka, kahit na ang lakas mong kumain”.
This is the hardest to pull off, since it requires both daring and a deep understanding of the person you’re talking to. It seems counterintuitive, but it may just bag you a very important prize: her matamis na oo.
Before you bother me with your violent reactions, I want to make something very clear: I’m basing these absurd tips on science.
Studies have shown many times over that when a girl works hard to get a guy, the relationship lasts longer. Even if we don’t want it to be, dating is still a game. She also needs to impress you, not just the other way around.
So, fellow pogi, get ready to play and always bring your “A” game! Always remember: Mahina man at suplado, magkakasyota din.
About the author:
Stanley Chi is every man’s man. He wrote the books Suplado Tips, Pogi Points, Chicken Mami for the Sawi, and the bestseller Men Are From QC, Women Are From Alabang. His most recent book, One Night Stan, is now available in bookstores nationwide. Stanley is also a comedian-host and social media genius with a weekly Facebook reach of 4 million (advertisers, pay attention). Follow him on Twitter and Instagram (@stanleychi), or subscribe to his column here on FHM!