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The Everyman's Guide To Online Dating

Go from game to flame
by KC Calpo | Dec 10, 2016
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Your bros have talked about it (and the women they’ve met and dated and... yeah), you’ve considered it, and now you’re ready to get into online dating. Congratulations, boss man!

Before you jump into the fray, we’ve got a few things to tell you, so listen (or read) up. Making new friends and meeting other people in real life can be tough, especially if you’re the shy type. But taking dating from IRL to online doesn’t have to be daunting! Keep the following guidelines in mind, and you might just get lucky—and we’re talking about the real kind, not the temporary one. Some of these rules can also apply to real-life dating, too!

First of all...

The very first thing you’ll have to tell yourself is that online dating is what it is. There’s little to none of the seriousness of real-life dating: you can swipe left or right, have manageable or low expectations, and quickly move on to the next girl. Most will approach it like it’s a game, so you can be optimistic about finding a long-term match here, but never ever romanticize it.

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Here, people judge each other based primarily on looks, the barest of information on user profiles, and who our friends are. There will be a lot of flirting, miscommunication, and ghosting... A LOT of ghosting. So if you wanna try it out, do so with an open mind and realistic goals. And remember that everyone’s presenting their best sides (#liveyourbestlife), so it’ll take a while to really get to know someone, if that’s your deal.

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Know where to go

The most-used dating apps have their own reputations, so ask around and test the waters first before going all in.

Tinder, the most popular app among the younger set and non-serious daters, is fine if you’re into hooking up and just checking out who’s out there. OKCupid should be your first stop if you’re relatively more serious about dating, and have enough time to fill out every single item on your profile and select every profile and search setting/option you want. Not into treating online dating as a game? Go for Peekawoo, which emphasizes finding and forming real connections with and among single millennials. There’s also HowAboutWe, Skout, EHarmony, Grindr, Happn, Bumble, and Badoo. So... yeah, it’s important to do your research and know what you want to get out of it before anything else.

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You do you

Sure, everyone’s all judgy online. But that can also work to your advantage: you know what you like and don’t like, and in online dating, (assuming you’re not being catfished, or the photo you’re looking at was taken fairly recently) you can see right away if she’s your type or not. This isn’t the time to compromise or say “well, mabait naman siya, eh”; if you don’t like her, then you don’t. It’s as simple as that. Swipe left, and bring on the next profile.

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Be honest

This may be a tall order, considering we’re talking about online dating here. You could snag a few right-swipes with a fictional profile and photo, sure. But if you like the other person that much, you’ll have to own up eventually, and no one likes being lied to, dude. No one. So it’s best to be up front early on. No catfishing, no lying, no bragging (and then humiliating yourself later on), no pretense. Women appreciate honesty. Trust us.

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Make it interesting.

Another thing about us women—we really go through your profile. If we wanna go all CSI on you, we can, and we will. Every single photo, every word on every description you’ve included, every common friend, every shared interest... we’ll read it, and then read into it.

Basically, we’ve seen it all. Our advice: the more basic/common/baduy words you use to “sell” yourself to fellow singles, the more we’ll swipe left. You better set yourself apart from the other dudes! We’re not talking Shakespearean descriptions or anything, but we like seeing that you put more effort into your user profile, and that you have a sense of humor about the overall absurdity that is online dating.

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Go nice and slow...then step it up

Which leads us to the next guideline. Online dating may be a game for most, but it’s not a race to see who can score the most likes or pics. Build up a rapport with your matches, and see if you’ll get along fine in real life. Don’t ask for numbers and other info right away! And when you’re sending each other private messages, put some effort into having a decent conversation. The more you show you’re genuinely interested in your matches, the more they’ll be into you too.

And when you’re sure (and she’s sure) that you’ve gotten the basics down? That’s when you step up to the plate. Pacing is key, boys.

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Hold back on the perv

We get it. You’ve got needs. (So do we.) While there are women who can play the same game you do, know that not everyone’s into nasty talk and dick pics all the time. Sexism, misogyny and selfish behavior are as big turnoffs in online dating apps as they are in real life, so don’t even think of going there.

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Take the next step!

You’ve already signed up for your online dating app of choice, filled out your profile, made a few matches, and having a few amazing private chats with women you like. Don’t stop now! When you’re both comfortable, stop hiding behind your phone—and ask her out, you know, on a real date. Offline. There you go. You’re welcome.

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