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8 Things You Can Do So You Won't Get Bored While Going Down On Your Girl
Who knows? Maybe doing these will also give her more pleasure. Win-win!
by Chise Alcantara | Sep 2, 2015
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As much as we try to be selfless creatures in bed, men still get hella bored sometimes when waiting for our turn. This makes going down on our lady seem like such a chore sometimes, especially when we’re on a tight schedule and we just want a quick boom shakalaka with the bae. But fret not, fellow rug-munchers! Here are some activities to keep you preoccupied and help you maximize your time while you "attend" to your boyfriend duties during sex.

Who knows? Maybe doing these will even give her more pleasure. Win-win!


1)   BLOW SOME BUBBLES

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Let loose your inner child on her vagina. Go wild and fizz her up then dip your lips into her bubbly pool of girl juice and blow. We don’t actually know if this works (read: if bubbles will appear), but we're willing to try and try...and try some more.


2)   PRETEND YOU'RE A PIRATE

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Whenever she gets extra moist, imagine you’ve been sailing the seven seas for months (because that’s how long it feels like waiting for your girlfriend to reach climax sometimes) in search of a great and mysterious sea creature and treasures. The waters were calm but suddenly, tharr she blows! Perfect for some Moby Dick role-playing (pun shamelessly intended).


3)   TRY NOT TO MAKE
BUHOL THE BUHOK DOWN THERE

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Hair pulling can be a kinky thing to do in bed but getting your facial hair tangled up with her pubic locks could spell more than just a very awkward situation for the both of you. Unless she has a fetish for scissors getting close to her vagina, we suggest you go easy on the hair rubbing.


4)   PRETEND YOU'RE A JUDGE IN A BEAUTY PAGEANT FOR VAGINAS

Continue reading below ↓

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Haven't you heard? It exists! Examine her vagina as if you're a world-renowned expert in judging sex organs, and rate it. Be careful with giving her a low score, thoughthere might not be a round two.


5)   WORK ON YOUR HAIR STYLING

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Or maybe you can do the exact opposite. Try out interesting hairstyles on her you’re too afraid to try on yourself to see how they look like up close. You could easily do a comb over but wouldn’t her privates look amazing with an undercut that will make Taguro proud?


6)   PRETEND YOUR HEAD IS A STICK OF DEODORANT

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This works best if you have a shaved head. Put on some PH care on your bald head then do a clockwise-to-counter-clockwise, roll-on-roll-off motion, up and down the lips of her vagina. With regular application, she’ll have a fresher vagina in no time, guaranteed! 


7)   BECOME A VAGINA WHISPERER

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Try saying "hello" into her vagina. If she asks what you’re doing, just tell her that you’re curious if calling out will produce an echo. Could be the ultra-creepy version of finding out if she's pregnant.


8)   PRETEND YOU'RE A SEAFOOD CONNOISSEUR

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Fitting, really, since a woman's nether regions are often described as the kinky version of tahong. Imagine you're a connoisseur tasked to rate a resto's shelfish delicacies and use your tongue as if you're slurping or licking some fine oysters. If you're acting is in the groove, she'll thank you for it. No need for an accent or a toque; that will just be unsettling for her.

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