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One Night Stan: Paano Ka Makagaganti Sa Babaeng Nambasted Sa’yo

Mr. Suplado teaches you the <em>suplado </em>ways in the event of being...<em>basted. </em>
by Stanley Chi | May 31, 2013
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Nabasted ka na naman.

At first, you thought she was interested because she seemed to like you a whole lot. But then it turns out that she was just leading you on! In other words, pinaasa ka lang.
So here you are again, blaming the world for being cruel, asking God why someone as handsome as you was rejected once again by another insecure girl who just wanted to add you to her collection of admirers.

You might be saying to her, “It’s okay, I respect your decision,” or “If you’re happy, then I’m happy,” but then you’d be lying. Deep inside, you’re muttering in anger, “I will only be happy if you’re happy with me!” or, better yet, “Gaddemmit, may araw ka rin!!!” Whether you admit it or not, you are probably thinking of how much time and effort–not to mention all that money–you’ve wasted on her when you were still her manliligaw!

To make things worse, your insensitive friends unintentionally undermine your grief by saying, “Okay lang yan, there are plenty of fish in the sea!” Ignore them and listen to my therapeutic words instead: “Okay lang yan, you can always get back at her anyway!”

Cue sinister laughter.

How To Ease The Pain Of Rejection
Before you carry out your scheme of vengeance, make sure you’re not hurting too much to the point of losing your mind. Here are a few tips on how you can get over your infatuation:

1. Think of all the nasty things she did to you. Did she hide from you after you started sending her videos of yourself crying everyday? Did she ignore all the 100 messages you sent her yesterday? Did she file for a restraining order after you called her at work, at home, through her mobile landline, through her personal cellphone number, and via Skype?

2. Count how much money you’ve spent on her. Make sure to take note of the many times you paid for cab fare whenever you took her home. Oh, and don’t forget the unli-text and unli-calls you used up on her!

3. Keep yourself busy at work. Now that you’re a loser in love, it’s the perfect time to be a winner at work! Log in extra hours in the office and impress your boss, especially if your boss happens to be a cute lady. Who knows? You might even become “employee of the month”!

4. Remember that one day she’s going to get fat. Patience is a virtue–and if you’re patient enough, you will see her pretty face get wrinkles and her FHM-worthy figure get love handles and bilbil. Believe me, it’s just a matter of time…especially if she gets married and has kids early. But if she remains hot even when she’s already in her fifties, read tip No. 5.

5. Look for someone else. The ratio of men to women is 1:4! Tiwala lang, may papatol din sa’yo!

NEXT: How to get back at her for rejecting you

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