"Is it unhealthy to have sex when a woman is expecting?" we asked Dr. Jennifer Co, an obstetrician/gynecologist from the Far Eastern University-Nicanor Reyes Medical Foundation (FEU-NRMF).
Her answer: "No, it's not. Hindi bawal unless it's a high-risk pregnancy, subject for abortion, if there is spotting or when the mother is experiencing low-back pains (that mostly happens early on). As long as it is comfortable, especially for the mother, then it's not prohibited."
But given the condition, are there specific positions that need to be avoided? There's still a fetus in there after all, and you wouldn't want to risk its health because the two of you tend to like athletic sex.
Dr. Co has the answers: "If [belly is still] small, missionary is still okay. If it's big already, the couple may try spooning. If it's already very big, then they can do it with the woman on top."
Asked if it is true that a man's penis can hit the baby's head during sex, the doctor explains that the fetus or baby is surrounded by a bag of water that protects it from external protrusions. So no, it's a myth.
Some also believe that you should not have sex during the last trimester of a pregnancy because the doctors will see your semen when the delivery takes place. That's also not true, says Dr. Co. Aside from the bag of water that bursts during delivery, the vernix caseosa that covers the baby eventually mixes up with the other fluids present. Hence, it's all but impossible for the doctors to take notice of it. And really, who cares? You've got a baby being born.To broaden our perspective, we also asked real moms two significant questions we must learn about. One, in what way does pregnancy affect a woman's libido? Two, what is the most comfortable sex position for a pregnant woman?
Brenda, 32 and mom of one, tells us that her urge for sex was greatly affected especially in the early stages. "Madali akong mainis noon, kaya 'pag inis ako nawawalan ako ng gana." She also shares that missionary is her most favored position.
For Pauline, also 32 and a mom of one, it was a different case. "My pregnancy did not affect my libido much. I still felt like I wanted to make love. What would help tremendously though is for men to be more sensitive to their wife's physical and emotional changes during this time."
She sides with Brenda though as to what position is best when one is pregnant: "The position I like and enjoy is missionary. Admittedly, it does get harder when your belly starts to grow."
Physically, these claims tell us that yes, it's possible to have sex under the circumstances. But with pregnancy also comes mood swings—emotional needs that must be addressed. How can we adjust to these emotional tides?
According to Chrisnat, a soon to-be-mom, when asked about how moody or sensitive she is lately, she says, "'Pag hindi ko nakikita ang asawa ko nag-iiba ang mood ko o 'pag hindi siya agad nag-re-reply sa text ko. Para na raw akong dragon. Tapos pag may nasabi lang siya na hindi ko gusto, naiiyak na ko."
What Chrisnat is feeling is quite normal though. "Pregnancy is a transition point in a woman's life and during any time of transition, a person’s emotions can be up and down," says Dr. Mary Kimmel in an interview for Live Science. The guy, who isn't the one carrying the physical challenges of pregnancy, needs to be there emotionally, and make his woman feel more secure than ever.
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