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REAL TALK: Is Sexting Considered Cheating?

In one survey, a considerable percentage of respondents believe it isn't
by Mary Rose A. Hogaza | May 19, 2016
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Is it okay to send dirty text messages to another woman while you're in a relationship? Or is that cheating?

British law firm Slater and Gordon conducted a study that revealed some people don't think sexting count as cheating.

Of the 2,150 men and women surveyed via an online poll, 35 percent said they don't think sending someone explicit images or texts amounted to being unfaithful. Of the women respondents, 49 percent says it's a form of cheating.

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Rupi Rai, family lawyer at the said firm, said more and more people are coming to them citing sexting as grounds for divorce. She said: "With more people having access to social media and advances in technology, we have seen a rise in the number of clients coming to us who think their partner has crossed the line and committed adultery, but not in the traditional sense."

"What some might consider a harmless bit of fun—like sending flirty messages or explicit pictures, others consider to be detrimental to their relationship and cause as much hurt and upset as physically cheating."

We'll side with the camp that says it is cheating. But what do women think? We gathered their answers to our question: "Do you consider sexting as cheating?"

Read their replies below:

"Of course it's cheating. It's like one step up from flirting since you're simulating sex with another person who happens to be not your significant other. Harboring desire for another person who is not the same person in a relationship with you is alarming. Why sext someone else when you can have sex with the one you are with?"—Karen, 24

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"Picture whoever you are dating doing what you are doing. If you would feel like you were being cheated on as they did the same thing, then it's probably cheating."—Dianne, 28

"You don't have to kiss or have sex with someone to cheat. As soon as you find yourself deleting messages you're half way there."—Jane, 27


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"Sexting is a form of cheating because you are still having a relationship digitally. If you love your girlfriend and are faithful you shouldn't feel the need to message somebody else dick pics or lustful messages."—Cha, 20

"I personally think that it's not the act that defines cheating, it's the lie. A lie is a lie. If you have done something that you cannot or will not mention to your girlfriend then that is lying and cheating."—Ena, 31

"I don't think it's right, but I don't know if it's cheating. I guess if you're not being honest, it's on the spectrum of cheating."—Charlotte, 25

"No it's not cheating. How can words and photos on a screen mean your cheating? It is deceptive, yes, but it's not cheating."—Grace, 21

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"No, it's not. In fact my partner is sexting and it has brought us closer. He doesn't hide it. He tells me what's been written, I even tell him what to say. He's just having fun. When I say no sexting, he doesn't do it."—Irish, 19

"I don't think so because it's just texting. They don't see each other. They don't get the chance to be intimate personally. It's not done in real life, so it's fine."—Juana, 22

Did our survey help? Only you and your girl know what's good in your relationship, so as always, keep the communication lines open. On the surface, it feels like cheating, but it's still going to depend on the kind of relationship you have with your girl, and what your setup is or agreements are.


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