It's not easy to start a conversation about sex with your partner no matter how long you've been together. The topic can feel uncomfortable and terrifying at the same time.
But you don't really have to put off this kind of conversation to avoid unpleasant and embarrassing feelings. Just always remember that NO MEANS NO. No other questions need to be asked after that.
In the latest edition of Real Talk, we asked six women, ages 20 to 30 and are in a new relationship, to give us tips on how men should share their erotic thoughts effectively.
Below are their responses:
"If you're at the point where you feel that's the next step in the relationship, just ask. Think of it as more of a relationship milestone than a physical thing. You and your partner are doing one of the most intimate things together—making love. It's more about being together as one, something you should both want rather than it being one-sided." —Angela, 28
"Your best bet is to casually joke about a few things, and see where it goes from there. If you're joking around, you can easily sway away from that topic if you can tell that the girl doesn't feel comfortable about it." —Ana, 23
"Discuss how far she's willing to go so you won't make her feel uncomfortable. She'll surely appreciate the fact that you considered her feelings and if you're both a little mature it's not that big a deal to talk about it." —Lana, 26
"Start the conversation by giving her a chance to talk without the pressure of responding to 'I want to have sex' or 'Let's have sex.' If she feels pressured or isn't ready to become more physical, it's her choice. As long as it's a conversation where you give her the opportunity to come up with an answer in a pressure free environment, she'll most likely come to a decision that involved either a set time or at least an answer of when you will generally have sex." —Aya, 29
"I'd say wait for her to show a sign she's comfortable with you and then ease into it. Most girls have to be really comfortable with a guy to want to talk about sex with them, so once you attain that go for it." —Joyce, 24
"Don't verbally bring it up. Use your actions. Actions are always better than words." —Jane, 30