So you're in bed with the woman of your dreams. She makes some sick moves, turns you on to the point of no return, and then suddenly stops. "What's up with that?" you ask yourself. You sure you want to know? That's fear, anxiety, and all her inhibitions combined, which have worked their way into her head, giving you blue balls for the nth time in your life.
But why does this happen? Why do women change their minds so quickly when it comes to sex? We take a closer look at the issue and found some pretty valid reasons.
Belief, values, and reputation can halt sex, according to Ena, 22, a Human Resource Recruitment Specialist. "I believe that sex is a gift from above, something that's special like how special marriage is," she says. She wants to make sure you actually have the balls to marry her before you hit the homerum. "My sisters got married because they got pregnant, and I don't want that to happen to me," she shares. "I want to get married not because I got pregnant, but because a man loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. There are times when I feel like giving up my virginity, but I hold on to my principles in life."
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PAIN AND NO GAIN
Ena cites another reason that stops her to have sex: the fear of experiencing pain during contact.
"I have few friends who openly admitted to having sex with their boyfriends," she says. "We talk about their experiences when we're together. They tell me that their first time hurt like hell, so I got more scared. I could just imagine how my vagina would rip off!"
On the other note, we found out that some women have developed vaginismus, a psychological condition that affects a woman's ability to have sexual intercourse. Dr. John Zhang of New Hope Fertility Center explains: "Some women diagnosed with vaginismus have developed anxiety even with the thought of something entering into their vagina. These patients are very concerned that intercourse will be painful, and become very fearful."
GETTING KNOCKED UP
"The thought of seeing those two lines in a pregnancy test kit also scares the crap out of me," Ren, 24, a Casino Dealer, explains. "I don't want to get pregnant before getting married. What would people say? What if my baby’s dad would leave me because he’s not yet ready? How will I explain that to my child? I want to be stable before having my first kid."
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SHE'S A NOOB
Her fear could also stem from her lack of experience.
"Nakakatakot kasi baka hindi ko siya ma-satisfy the way na gusto niya or the way na na-satisfy siya sa past [partners] niya," reveals Lorraine, 20, student. "Nakakatakot kasing mangangapa ako kung ano ba talaga ang nangyayari. Hindi ko alam kung paano or kung saan dapat mag-start. And what scares me most is the idea that he'd rather be watching porn than actually doing it with me."
THE NO. 1 MOOD KILLER: STD
The rising number of HIV cases is possibly one of the reasons girls are scared of having physical contact. According to a study conducted by the Department of Health, most of HIV victims are teenagers, with some as young as 15. The United Nations Children's Fund has also noticed the disturbing findings, saying the new HIV infection "now occur at a younger age."
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Whatever her reason is, the key is to move slowly and gain her trust by letting her know you are her long-awaited Mr. Right. Respect her views and don't force it. Doing so will get you in jail—this one we're sure of.