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Millennials Confess What It's Like To Date Someone With Different Political Views

She's a ka-DDS, you're a dilawan—now what?
by Khatrina Bonagua | Sep 11, 2018
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For some, refusing to date people with a different political view is absurd. “Politics shouldn’t get in the way of a romantic relationship,” many will say. But it's not that easy. For others, dating a ka-DDS, a dilawan, or just someone who doesn’t share your political views is a deal breaker. It's a non-negotiable and a big no-no. How about you? What are your views on this?

We wouldn’t be surprised if most of you still try to get to know and actually date that person. You’re game for it only because you believe that opposites do attract, or perhaps, you like her that much and will accept her views even if they greatly differ from yours. Anyway, no matter what your reason is, below are some tips—from those who've actually dated someone with a different political view—on how to navigate this path. Even if you don’t end up together, you don’t want to be enemies, right? A word of caution: it’s not going to be easy, bro.

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Agree to disagree

“Some say that you shouldn’t discuss politics on the first date—but my partner and I did. It’s actually a good thing because, una pa lang, nalaman na namin na magkaiba kami, kaya no pretensions. He’s a diehard Duterte supporter, and I strongly hate his president. Buti na lang, di siya yung troll levels na supporter! I gave him the chance to present his side—why he voted for him, why he still believes in him, etc. Siya rin naman, pinakinggan niya ako kung bakit di ko gusto ang presidente niya. It was a mentally stimulating discussion, which turned us both on, and led to more dates. Discussing our differences actually made us understand each other on a deeper level. Now that we’re together, nag-compromise kami na we’ll try our best to be always open-minded and level-headed during discussions. Agree to disagree.” – Patricia, 28

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Set rules

“When my ex-girlfriend (who’s Ilocana and a Marcos fan) and I were still together, we established some ground rules. For example: 1) Bawal mag-scroll sa Facebook or Twitter pag magkasama kami; 2) Bawal mag-share sa social media ng articles na alam namin pareho na mag-rereact kami violently (bawal ako mag-'#NeverAgain' kasi FB friends kami ng family niya); 3) Pagdating sa usapang pulitikal, civil lang palagi. Bawal mag-away. Besides, we have plenty of things to talk about maliban sa pulitika. Doon na lang kami nag-focus. Mahirap, pero inisip namin na without these rules, mag-clash talaga kami.” – Marc, 30

“My girlfriend and I have simple rules such as always be respectful when commenting and avoid criticism. Tandaan, nasa date ka at wala sa debate.” John, 33

Communication is key

“Communication is important. Learn when to listen. Learn when to speak. Don’t be afraid to share how you feel just because magkaiba kayo ng paniniwala. And when you discuss political matters, make sure that you’ll never raise your voice and that you’ll never get angry when your views are challenged. Engage in a healthy conversation, always.– Cris, 29

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Don’t ever try to change the person

Naniniwala ako na may pinanggalingan yung political views ng isang tao, at yun yung values niya as a person. Kung okay lang sa kanya na pumapatay ang president niya, bastos ang bunganga, walang pakialam sa taong bayan, marahil, ganun ka rin siya sa kaloob-looban. And don’t think na you can change that person, believe me, it doesn’t get better. Better find someone who has the same political views and values in life as yours.” – Maya, 27

“Never try to persuade your partner to be on your side or away from their side. This shows that you don’t accept and respect her as a person. If you don’t like her views, then leave. There are others out there who share your political views, and who will make you feel supported, respected, and appreciated.” – Sam, 26

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