This is not an opinion piece on the RH Bill, but it’s equally important. It involves one small object that slips into your wallet unnoticed (which, for it to do its magic, shouldn't be kept there forever) and slips onto your, uh, "shamalama-dingdong." In case you're wondering what a shamalama-dingdong is, we're talking about your—pardon our Tagalog—titi. Cue schoolgirl snickering.
Partly, this article is about that body part, but mostly about the condom and whether or not you should wear it. The title should have given it away, but we're telling you anyway!
Us Pinoy pogi boys are “theoretically” conservative despite being die-hard fans of FHM. When we meet the girl of our dreams, we want to know all about proper panliligaw. And when we talk about wearing or buying condoms, we actually hesitate, with reasons ranging from "Nakahihiya naman dun sa suking tindera ko sa Ministop" to "I'm a hardcore advocate of the withdrawal method."
I mean, dude, it’s not like you have time to ask via Twitter or hold a poll on Facebook if you should use the condom or not, especially when the girl you’re with is already taking her panties off in slow motion! So to settle things once and for all, here are five reasons why and five reasons why you shouldn't wear one.
Let’s start with how our rubber friend, the condom, can actually be your best friend.
1. You don’t get icky STDs. You already spent your week’s earnings on an expensive dinner out, gas, beer, and a motel room. If you add crabs, clap, or drip into the equation, you might actually have to spend more. Doctors aren't exactly cheap, you know. And think of how disgusted you’ll feel if your doctor tells you, “Iho, may tulo ka.”
2. You don’t get a surprise after nine months. No sane male (who wants to retain his God-given right to walk around the house in his underwear) wants a shotgun wedding. Okay, okay, we all want a mini-me that talks, looks, and even reads FHM like us, but all in due time –and nine months can be too soon.
'Teka, nag-condom ako nun!'
3. You don’t have to back out if she’s having her period! Look, if the idea of dipping your precious batuta in a jar of blood isn’t too appealing, dip it with a plasticky membrane wrapping it.
4. Your girl is protected, too. In casual sex, please don’t assume you’re actually clean and healthy. That's simply the responsible thing to do. And please don’t assume she wants to carry your child in her womb, either, especially if you just got her drunk.
5. Extra lubrication equals extra libog. Not all women are born wet. And if you’re not an expert on making her moist and“ready,” then be a good boy scout and carry a condom (and a lubricant in your backpocket).
On the next page, we move on to the why you shouldn't part of the article.
NEXT: Kung ayaw mo huwag mo