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14 People Share Their Most Embarrassing Breakup Stories

Welcome to the Psycho-Ex Hall of Fame
by Chandra Pepino | Nov 19, 2017
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No one likes that sinking feeling you get when you know a relationship is down to its last few dying breaths. But sometimes, getting out of a bad one can bring you immense relief. Here are some cautionary tales from anonymous sources that will have you thanking your lucky stars you aren’t committed. 

The user.

“I was in love with this girl, but she had a boyfriend. What I did know was that her best friend had a huge crush on me. She was this spoiled daughter who had plenty of money to burn, so she would buy me the nicest gifts. She really did fall for me. But I shamelessly used her just so I could get close to her best friend. Eventually, she found out the truth when she opened up my phone and saw the messages in my barkada group chat. It was less of a breakup and more of a shouting match. I’m a terrible person, I know.” — Ben, 22

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The sushi bringer.

“I had been seeing this one guy for a month after eventually deciding I was no longer interested. I made this very clear to him, but it seemed like he couldn’t accept it. One afternoon while I was in my apartment, he calls me and says, ‘Do you wanna hear something crazy? I’m outside your apartment with sushi.’ I had never told him my address. I ‘dumped’ his ass (we weren’t even exclusive), but even after all of that, he sheepishly asked if we could at least be friends with benefits. Dude, cut your losses and move on!” — Pat, 20

The Twitter stalker.

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“I was dating this guy whose ex was still in love with him. When she found out about me, she decided to do a little stalking—so one night while I was at a restaurant in Alabang, I saw her come in and order takeout. Then, she stayed in her parked car for 20 minutes while I ate my dinner. Months later, the guy I was dating told me it wasn’t a coincidence. She saw my tweet that I was going to the restaurant, so she sat in her car and watched me eat from a distance.” — Dina, 21


The abuser.

“I met my worst ex in a summer theater workshop. We were together for about 7 years, and when we broke up, I continued to attend the workshops. One night while the team was on break from rehearsals, I stepped out to grab a snack. My ex was waiting right there, demanding to know why I wasn’t answering his calls or texts. He struck me hard across the face, which nearly everyone heard. I wanted to cry, but I kept my composure. I’m so glad we’re not together anymore.” — Tiff, 24

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The social media manager.

“I had this crazy, jealous girlfriend who demanded she had access to all of my social media accounts. From time to time, she would go through my Facebook messages and grill me about every girl I was talking to, even the ones who made work-related inquiries. I lost my temper when I found out she messaged this one girl, using my account, telling the girl to back off. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I broke up with my girlfriend and actually ended up with that friend whom she had been jealous of.” — Von, 22

The Ronald McCrazy.

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“I have a friend who used to work at a McDonald’s drive thru. One day, her ex came into the drive-thru lane, begging for her to take him back. She rejected his advances and asked one of her coworkers to take over. Her crying ex stepped out of the car and began kissing the drive-thru window, leaving tons of kiss marks on the glass. What the hell?!” — Jay, 24

The Instagram spam bot.

“My ex would spam my IG posts with crazy comments. I had finally had enough, so when I blocked him, he began spamming my friends’ IG posts, but only the ones with me in them. That was messed up.” — Alexis, 24

The emo kids.

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“My then-boyfriend and I nearly broke up during the time Fall Out Boy released their comeback album, Save Rock & Roll. We got into a big fight because I loved their new sound and he hated it. He said I had become “a sheep,” FOB had sold out, and that this was a sign that we were turning into different people who weren’t meant to be together. We “broke up” for a while, only to end up together the next week. Oh, to be young again.” — Ellie, 21

The bender.

“I dated this guy in my third year of high school who was really close to his best friend, and not in a normal way. He would lavish him with gifts like clothes, a brand new iPod, and an electric guitar that he ordered from the States. As it turns out, he was actually gay, and he was using me as a coverup. If only he had been honest with me from the beginning, I wouldn’t have judged him at all. The worst part is I ended up cheating on him, which led to our breakup. What a mess.” — Maria, 21

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The backyard lurker.

“My then-boyfriend cheated on me with this girl. I stalked the girl and her family and found their address. I would “pass by” maybe three times a week for a couple of months. I would stay outside their house for a few minutes like a freak. Oh, and I badgered the guy’s whole family to convince their son to take me back. There was a point that I became textmates with his dad, practically begging him to help me get back with his son.” — Bianca, 23

The cold-five.

“I had an emotionally abusive girlfriend who would call me terrible names like ‘faggot’ when we fought. One afternoon in school, I found myself walking in her direction. Looking triumphant, she held her hand up and said, ‘I’m breaking up with you.’ I high-fived her and ran away, jumping for joy. She stood there utterly confused while our schoolmates laughed in her face. No regrets.” — Mitch, 19

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The favorite girl.

“My parents really loved my ex, so they took any opportunity to convince me to get back together with her. One day, I told them I wanted to take my current girlfriend home to meet them. They did the craziest thing—they invited my ex (who still had feelings for me) to come to that same dinner. I ended up with one jealous girlfriend, one crying ex, and two parents whom I still hold a grudge against to this very day.” — Topher, 25

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The food thief.

“Whenever I would ask my girlfriend if she wanted anything at a restaurant, she would order the smallest appetizer and say she wasn’t hungry. I would ask repeatedly and get the same answer. So when my order would come in—which was always a burger, a pizza, or something big—she would end up eating half of what was on my plate. I’m happy to buy her food, but I wish she would tell me honestly instead of picking off my food! We broke up one night when she ate all of my fries while I was in the bathroom.” — Josh, 23

The manipulator.

“When my then-boyfriend realized I was about to break up with him, he ran to the middle of Katipunan Avenue—where speeding cars could have run him over—and begged me not to. He got on his knees, said he couldn’t live without me, and that he would rather die than lose me. I was manipulated into staying in that relationship. We broke up about a month later.” — Jill, 21 

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Photos from Unsplash

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