No one wants to get into an argument. It's heartbreaking. It's stressful. It's full of drama. But let's face it: IT. IS. PART. OF. A. RELATIONSHIP.
Luckily, a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology has found a phrase that would help defuse a fight instantly.
To come up with what could be a life-saver for men, lead researchers Amie Gordon and Serena Chen asked a total of 247 real couples, aged 18 to 60, to come up with a list of the top three sources of conflict in their relationships. They were then given five minutes to work toward the resolution of the conflict.
Upon harvesting the data, the researchers found patterns in their answers. They found out that arguments made people less happy if they felt like their partners didn't understand them or at least made an effort to understand them. According to them, one can improve their partner's mood and the overall color of the discussion with these words: "I see where you're coming from."
Once she hears this, she may feel better, soften her tone, and listen to your perspective or be more willing to compromise according to the study. "If partners feel understood by each other, there may be no need to fight in the first place, but when couples do find themselves in the midst of fighting, perceived understanding can help attenuate the negative effects of that conflict," the study expounds.
Long story short, these words help neutralize the blame-game and let your significant other know you're actually listening to what she's saying. Try it the next time you're in a fight with her, instead of raising your voice and throwing verbal and emotional sticks and stones at one another.
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