With the hammering weather forcing us to hole up at home and make the most out of our man-caves, it can sometimes get a little boring and melancholy. Stuck in your room with nothing to do but listen to the pitter-patter of raindrops on your rooftop, you’re lucky if you’ve got a hot chick to canoodle with and warm things up.
But there’s an alternative to battling those forlorn feelings of weariness: a hefty dose of television entertainment!
Nowadays, you don’t really need to scurry home from work in time to catch your favorite show on its designated timeslot. There are more ways than one to catch up on your boob tube viewing (not that we support illegal downloading, Mr. Torrent). Whether the show is currently running, done with its sophomore season, or even long buried within the pop culture abyss, there’s no excuse not to be plugged in.
Filled to the brim with the most damaged characters that range from carpet-munching criminals to crazed clones to sexy supernatural beings, here are FHM's eight fresh series picks to waste your oh-so-important time with–no remotes needed!
1) LAWLESS LESBIANS
The show: Orange Is The New Black – Season 2 done
What it’s about: Based on Piper Kerman’s memoir of the same name, the show chronicles the lives of female inmates at a correctional facility. When Piper Chapman (Taylor Schilling) is locked up for being involved with a drug cartel because of her former girlfriend Alex Vause (That 70s Show’s Laura Prepon), she must leave her New York urbanite routine of juju cleanses and boho bars for communal prison showers and the occasional brawl with the resident meth-head.
See it because: The perfectly balanced mix of comedy and drama, coupled with the interesting back-stories of its quirky cast has made it online streaming site Netflix’s critical breakout darling. And did we mention that Piper is bisexual? So count on a lot (and we mean a lot) of steamy girl-on-girl sex scenes.
2) SCIENCE FICTION MADE SEXY
The show: Orphan Black – Season 2 done
What it’s about: When street urchin Sarah Manning witnesses a strange woman’s suicide, she sees it as an opportunity to renew her life by stealing the victim’s identity. She learns, however, that the victim is actually her clone and that they might not be the only ones out there.
See it because: Watching the show’s sole star Tatiana Maslany juggle playing multiple characters with varying personalities (con artist, gay scientist, and drugged-up soccer mom just being some of them) is an art form in itself. Plus, she’s every geek’s masturbatory fantasy come to life. Toned and fit in all the right places, willing to take her clothes off in the name of a passionate love scene, and badass sci-fi heroin all wrapped up into a petite bundle of Canadian goodness? What’s not to love?
3) INTERCOURSE WITH THE DEVIL HIMSELF? BRING IT ON!
The show: Penny Dreadful – Season 1 done
What it’s about: Penny dreadful was a term used in 19th century Britain to describe a serial publication that told stories of the macabre, the occult, and the unexplainable. Inspired by this concept, the Showtime thriller brings together some of literature’s best (Victor Frankenstein, Mina Harker, and Dorian Gray just to name a few) to fight against supernatural forces plaguing Victorian London.
See it because: The camp, gore, and brooding tone are enough to make you believe that people are still very much interested in grim storytelling. Eva Green and Josh Hartnett headline the cast, meaning there’s no shortage of talent. But this is really Eva Green's show. As a tortured mystic, she’s the spellbinding, green-eyed sorceress of your best fantasies (and worst nightmares). Her epileptic sex scene with an invisible Satan will simultaneously turn you on and scare you shitless. Now that’s true horror.
4) SCREWED UP POLITICS
The show: House of Cards – Season 2 done
What it’s about: Kevin Spacey (Congressman Frank Underwood) cracks his democratic whip as a congressman slowly yet slyly positioning himself in a place of power at the White House. As he balances work with his home life, his moral lines are blurred and he makes choices that start to look better for him than for the people he must serve.
See it because: Executive produced by master director David Fincher (Se7en, Fight Club), who directs some episodes himself, it’s a political drama driven by manipulation. Not only does Underwood use the characters around him like pawns in a chess match, he also tugs at the viewer’s own principles by creating pathos through politicking, making the watcher question his own ethical backbone in the process.