No one really likes “just nipples.” But take away anyone’s utong, and a nipple-less pair of breasts could just as well not have been breasts at all. For instance, they could be someone else’s pwet.
Of course pwet is exciting too, except when it comes to small and nervous appearances inside FHM pages, everyone knows utong is king.
Ed's Note: This entry is written by FHM's other broob (bro with boobs), Khyne Palumar. Khyne is very shy, which explains her self-portrait above. She's also FHM's resident expert for diseases, bodily fluids, and areolas, hence the topic she chose for her first contribution to this blog...
If you didn’t, then these photogenic incarnations of tits as you’ve seen them inside the magazine over the years should be worth re-drawing your attention to. Because really, if there’s good enough reason to blog as any, why not utong?
Utong and how you’ve seen it
1. AS ROUND AS POSSIBLE
Of course its round, what else could it be? Our favorite doctors once said “elliptical.” That’s not just a snooty word for oblong though, you can’t say the area surrounding your nipples is oblong in the same way chicken eggs are oblong. You say they’re elliptical, like roads, or more flatteringly, galaxies. Like how you know the Milky Way’s a sort of oblong-type galaxy, but you’re not really sure where it begins and ends all the time—material for a pickup line?
2. QUARTER TO HALF-SIZED APPEARANCES
If you know you’re seeing “everything,” what else is there to see? Here we ask the opposite: fingers in place of bras, sheer see-throughs that let you see utong but not in its entirety, one brave nipple instead of two, perkier ones, bakat. Almost-there nipples are a great exercise in concentration.