Is being friends with an ex ever okay?
A 2016 study found that only narcissists and psychopaths remain friends with their former flame. You may think this science-backed finding’s a bit too twisted to accept. But regardless of how you’ll process this, it’s wise to know that pursuing one’s friendship with an ex is crossing dangerous grounds, especially if you’re already committed with someone else.
“It could possibly affect the new relationship,” says Maribeth Brown, a family and relationships counselor from Las Piñas City. “It wouldn’t be impossible that the exes would fall into the pit off rekindling old romance on the back of new partners. That’s a big trouble.”
Still unconvinced? We decided to go straight to the source (women) and asked them how they’d feel about their S.O. staying in good terms with their ex.
Below are their responses:
“I don’t think I would feel comfortable knowing that my boyfriend is friends with someone who has seen him naked in the past.”—Kim,24
“Personally, I don’t like the idea. What’s done is done, it didn’t work out, leave it at that, and move on. I don’t see the point of being friends with your ex. If you see each other walking down the street at random and you ended on good terms, say hello and talk for a few to be polite. But I would not be happy if they have each other’s number so they could keep in touch.”—Nadine,27
“I’m a person who prefers to keep my exes in the past and I’d rather be with someone who feels the same way.”—Loisa,25
“I know that jealousy and insecurity would eat me alive if my boyfriend would be friends with his ex. I would suspect that one of them may still hold passionate feelings for the other. I’m not saying stop talking to an ex, but being in good terms with the person who’s supposedly just part of the past would push me away.”—Ria,28
“Friends on Facebook? Okay. Close friends who hang out? Absolutely not fine! It’s just too awkward for me.”—Paula,23
“I would not support that unless there was some necessity involved. Examples of necessity would be if they have a kid or if it’s work-related. Any emotional intimacy, even within a platonic friendship, should be avoided with an ex. There’s no place for it in a new relationship.”—Mika,30
“It would bother me a lot especially (and honestly) if the girl is prettier than me. It would surely be a cause of fight every now and then.”—Regine,23
“I wouldn’t have a problem with it unless I see some suspicious actions. I still chat with some of my exes and there is zero sexual attraction at all. Some of them were good friends of mine before we started dating and we just realized we were better friends than partners and went back to that type of relationship.”—Joy, 25
“I’d much rather date a guy that was on good terms than bad terms with all of his exes. As long as he was transparent about it, it wouldn’t be an issue.”—Irene,28