You've been through the situation before.
You've asked your girlfriend what's wrong and she tells you she's completely fine. But whenever you make her lambing, she gives you an attitude. Sometimes you can't help but wonder: "What the hell does she really mean when she says 'I'm fine'?"
We asked Dr. Maria Lourdes Ramos-Laydia, PhD, a registered clinical psychometrician and psychologist from Lucena City, to walk us through this situation. She says there is no single reason/explanation, but some possibilities are:
1) They are actually feeling fine at the time they were asked.
2) They are not ready to discuss what's bothering them/or may not know actually the specific thing bothering them.
3) Whatever the issue is, it may still be emotionally charged and they fear that they may lose control of their emotions.
4) There are really people who don't like to talk much about details.
The former head of the Psychology Department of Calayan Educational Foundation Inc. adds that a woman's hormones are also a great influence on their attitude. Changes in hormonal levels may cause mood swings, which means she can be extremely sweet and in a matter of seconds, turn into a three-headed monster.
We also surveyed a number of gals and here is what they have to say:
"It really depends on the tone. Sometimes I say it just so the other person will shut up, sometimes because I'm not fine at all, or maybe because I just don't want to talk about it. You should always double check, but don't get too makulit because it can be irritating." —Coleen, 25
"For me, it means I'm totally not fine, but I don't want you to know that. I want to deal with this issue myself and I'll talk to you about it if I want you involved." —Des, 27
"When I say this, it means I'm not okay and you need to figure out what's wrong before I get even more upset." —Joanne, 23
"To be honest, I usually use these words because I think my partner should sense or know what's up." —Shara, 26
"It could simply mean I'm not willing to talk about whatever I'm feeling and I'm okay enough to continue on with life at the moment. On the other hand, it could also mean I'm still trying to understand why I'm feeling that way." —Trish, 29
During this moment, she'll appreciate it if you shower her with attention and love. If she senses that your are sincerely concerned and don't want to argue, judge, or contradict her, but instead just let her speak her mind, she might eventually open up.
"Women have their own space and time and hurrying them will make them more resistant and skeptical abouth whether or not you can really be trusted," explains Dr. Ramos-Laydia.
"The key to understanding women is to know that, because of their different biological and emotional makeup from men, they might have an alternative mode of communication. Unlike a man's brain, which is compartmentalized, women might feel the need to communicate things in a different manner."
Dr. Maria Lourdes Ramos-Laydia, PhD, is a registered clinical psychometrician and psychologist from Lucena City. She is the former head of Psychology Department of Calayan Educational Foundation Inc.