Should you catch your friend cheating on his girl, what do you think will come to your mind first? Do you confront him? Or are you just going to walk away and pretend not to witness anything? And there's always this option: Tell his girlfriend.
Whatever the guy's reasons are, cheating is inexcusable. What must a friend do during such a time? We surveyed a number of gentlemen and here is what they have to say.
JB, a 19-year-old college student, says: "No, I won't tell the girl. I'd rather talk to my friend about it, and just objectively tell him what I think about it. I'm also in a relationship, and I would like to think that I'm not one to condone such behavior. One problem though is that we must also consider that guys aren't too open when it comes to talking about their relationships so this step is a huge struggle."
Karlo, 25, knows how tricky it is to get involved in such matters, and would rather clam up completely. "I'm going to mind my own business," he says. Arnel, a 27-year-old-nurse, has similar views: "Hindi ko siya kakausapin kasi ayaw ko makialam sa mga bagay na hindi na sakop ng buhay ko." These are very safe answers, and completely understandable. But if you really care about your friend and his girlfriend, doesn't turning a blind-eye mean you become an accomplice to the crime yourself?
Not entirely. According to a Canadian relationship expert, Eve Potok, in an article from Chatelaine magazine, telling the person being cheated on isn't always the best course of action. She advises: "You stay out of it unless you are in a situation where you can confront the cheater and make him/her realize that what they're doing is inappropriate. Go straight to the troublemaker."
Pedro, 33, takes that route too. He says, "I will not tell the girl pero pag sasabihan ko yung friend ko na hindi tama ang ginagawa niya sa girlfriend niya lalo kung kilala or friend ko rin yung girl. Very close ako sa mga friends ko pero ayaw ko makialam sa mga personal nilang buhay."
"I think cheating on a girl is a mortal sin," continues Pedro, "kaya never ko ginawa yun sa mga naging ka-relasyon ko, one at a time ika nga."
Sid, the eldest of the guys we talked to at 43, has a different approach in that he'd rather confront the girl himself and not the guy: "I would tell the girl so that she would have the chance to ask the guy why. I've seen enough in my lifetime to say that you're wasting your time loving someone who doesn't know how to reward the love you're giving to them."
Dell, 27, has more drastic measures in mind: "Yes, I'll tell the girl because cheating is a sin and girls should be treated as precious jewel. How will I prove my friend is cheating? Well, I will have to take a photo and upon showing it to the girlfriend, I will tell her that she doesn't deserve that guy. I'll tell her that in due time, she will find her perfect match."
Whether you agree with Dell's style is completely up to you. Cheating has never been a simple topic, nor has the practice of avoiding it. Another relationship expert, Tammy Nelson, PhD had this to say when interviewed by Bustle: "Monogamy is not something that happens automatically because you make a one-time vow when you first commit to each other. Monogamy is something you choose every day, it is a gift you give your partner and yourself, it is a sacred practice like yoga or meditation. And with practice you get better and better at it."
But back at the topic at hand, how would you react if you knew your friend was cheating?
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