It’s our favorite time of the year—that’s aside from Christmas and the FHM 100 Sexiest Victory Party; okay, it’s our THIRD favorite time of the year! But who’s counting, right? What’s more important is it’s now February. The love month. The okay-lang-magwaldas-para-sa-date month. The only month men are allowed to be ultra-cheesy.
But do you have any idea HOW to be cheesy? Are you and your girlfriend/missus constantly bickering about your lack of romance? Do you attribute your singlehood to your lack of wooing skills? Well, we’re going to solve these all for you! FHM will be dishing out daily how-to-be-a-Don-Romantiko tips the whole month of February!
Gentlemen, welcome to FHM’s 28 Days Of Romansahan!
DAY #9: LEARN THE 10 SUPLADO COMMANDMENTS!
It’s that time of the year again and, as usual, galit ka na naman sa mundo. Or, if you’re better evolved than the other lonely specimens of your race, you claim you’re “single by choice,” when in fact you’re single by chance.
In short, walang pumapatol sayo.
Baka naman kasi ganito hitsura mo sa profile pic mo
Eh loko ka pala eh! There are so many things you can do to get a date yet you’re still hating on Valentine’s Day? Really!? Even if for some unfathomable reason you still don’t have a girlfriend as cupid makes his rounds, you can at least enjoy Valentine’s with a brand new date.
Stop trying to find an excuse for being the world’s favorite third wheel and just ask someone out already—but do it the suplado way. If you’re too afraid to eff up on Valentine’s, I can help you—kaya nga ako nilikha ng Diyos eh.
Just follow these 10 Suplado Commandments so that you (and hopefully your butotoy) will be in good hands.
Ten Suplado Commandments on Valentine’s Day
1. Thou shall have no other dates than the girl you’re going out with on Valentine’s. Forget double-booking; you may be suplado, but you’re not palikero. Trust me when I say you should stick to one date if you don’t want cupid to cut your thing off and beat you to death with it.
Remember: Valentine's 'to, hindi pasko ng pang-chi-chicks
2. Thou shall not use the name of love in vain. Do not use the word “love” to bait gullible virgins into your web of sexual deception. Pretending to be in love with a girl just so you can score doesn’t make you a Romeo; it makes you a sociopath. Hindi ka naman siguro ganun kapangit at kailangan mong manloko, di ba?
3. Remember to keep thy Valentine’s Day a Suplado Day. So what if a hottie walks by? If you don’t want your date to find you disgusting, ignore every sexy woman you see that day—or at least pretend you didn’t see any.
Especially if your date that night owns has a shotgun in her hand
4. Honor thy date’s father and mother. Don’t forget to bring them a little something on Valentine’s, too. Sumipsip ka naman. Your date’s parents can be your fan club and cheering squad if you play your cards right. Take note: Makalaglag-panty ang lalakeng marunong magpa-impress sa mga magulang ng babae.
NEXT: Thou shall not commit...