(Editors's note: This article originally came out in FHM's October 2006 issue. To get copies of FHM Classics, click here.)
It’s the point of no return, one of the hardest things you can ever subject your relationship to: disloyalty, unfaithfulness, infidelity, betrayal. It doesn’t matter if it was just a one-off thing or a two-timing scheme. What’s done is done, you miserable cheat!
You should know, though, that it’ll take more than kissing and making up to win back her trust. Because right now, she’s so pissed she’d likely go Dark Phoenix on you if you push her. The question, however, is: Do you even care? We do, out of loyalty, of course. So take this quiz and find out the mystery behind your evil deed. But we urge you to be very honest, guys. Cheating on yourselves won’t make you ace this!
CHOOSE THE MOST APPLICABLE ANSWER
1. Does she know you’ve cheated on her?
A. Yes, I told her myself. (2)
B. Yes, she found out. (1)
C. No, because I’m scared she’ll leave me if she finds out! (0)
D. No. Not even those other times. (-2)
2. Why did you do it?
A. So what? All men cheat! (-2)
B. I couldn’t help it, my officemate is so hot! (-1)
C. It was an accident—I was drunk, then there was this girl… (1)
D. Because I’m a jerk. (2)
3. What do you think led to your unfaithfulness?
A. “My relationship with my girl is a blessing. But just like all blessings, we tend to take them for granted.” (2)
B. “All serious relationships go through trials. If we get through this, our bond will become stronger.” (1)
C. “When you’re in an exclusive relationship, you get used to all the things that made you fall for each other in the first place that they become mundane. So you find yourself looking for something extraordinary elsewhere.” (-1)
D. “A loyal man is not a real man.” (-2)
4. What was the first thing she did when she caught you?
A. She screamed and cursed at me—but ended up crying. (1)
B. She screamed and cursed at me then threatened to leave me. (0)
C. She hasn’t caught me, but I bet if she did, she’d threaten to leave me—and I’d actually agree. Then she’d beg me to stay. (-2)
D. She cried—and I cried, too. (2)
5. How was your relationship before you slipped up?
A. Like a fairytale! (2)
B. We had the usual LQs, but otherwise we were definitely in love. (1)
C. Okay lang. (0)
D. We were all right, thanks to her meekness. (-2)
6. How long have you been together before your blunder?
A. A month or less. (-2)
B. A few months. (0)
C. Around a year. (1)
D. A couple of years. (2)
7. What if she tells you that she, too, had been unfaithful?
A. I’ll raise hell and tell her what an ungrateful bitch she is. (-2)
B. I’ll tell her that I probably deserved it. (2)
C. I’ll ask her what’s wrong with our relationship and if there’s still hope for us to patch things up. (1)
D. I’ll ask her what the other guy has that I don’t have. (-1)
8. What was the scenario one week after you were caught cheating?
A. We haven’t talked the entire week—she asked me to. (0)
B. I’ve been partying and living the bachelor life the whole time. (-2)
C. We exchange SMS messages just to ask how we are. (1)
D. I’ve been calling her and going to her house to beg for forgiveness. (2)
9. Did you have any rules on infidelity when you began your relationship?
A. Implicitly, yes. It’s common sense. (0)
B. Relationship rules are for sissies. (-2)
C. We explicitly told each other that cheating is a no-no. (1)
D. Is asking each other not to break each other’s heart counted? (2)
10. At what point did you fear being caught by your ladylove?
A. When I began to become more and more attracted to the other woman. (-1)
B. The moment I woke up with a hangover from all the alcohol. (2)
C. Never thought of it. (-2)
D. Whenever she texts and calls to ask where I am (even if I’m not doing anything wrong). (1)
Now, get your score...