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Jan 16, 2013
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Now is the time to sell the wife.

You've thought about it once or twice or more but couldn't get yourself to do it. Apart from her mouth, tantrums, and gross weight what other reasons could there be for ditching her? We can think of one other: the Toyota 86 is now on sale.

Looking at this car, and then the wife, you realize that in life some difficult choices have to be made.

So, it's the car.

That was quick.

Which is hardly surprising. Your long-dormant loins must have been suddenly fired up by what on paper looks like a sports car. And it is a sports car you can now readily buy, jointly developed with Subaru—it has a Subaru-mastered boxer engine under the hood and is known as a Subaru BRZ in some countries. Two hundred horses under the hood ain't much but it's actually a good thing: It means it's an everyday sports car that will work on our roads. Once you sit in the driver's bucket seat and feel how close you are to the ground, you'll anticipate how every horse will latch itself onto the asphalt, and so will you. We did. It will not be a comfortable ride, but that's a sacrifice you will be willing to make.

But that is not the real proposition. Not the looks in itself or the power. The price is.

The Toyota 86 2.0 manual transmission sells for P1.550 million.

Yes, this beauty is only P1.550 million

What if you sell your seven-year-old Altis or Civic now? You'd still easily get upwards of half a mil on it. A 20 percent downpayment on the Toyota 86 2.0 MT would be about P310,000. If you have a bank account you're not telling your wife about that may be considerable extra cash. You can actually get an 86 off the Toyota Financial Services, which will slash that downpayment even lower. And then we were talking about what we could do to the wife...

But let's not be evil. By now the point must be clear to you: Getting a Toyota 86 is a declaration of independence.

Off with the family car. This is a car that is anti-family. Meaning since they're by now living lives of their own and ignoring you, might as well ignore them, too.

This is your car. Not one of them can sit in it.

Here's why: First with the front passenger seat, where the wife should be. On the 86 specs it says that the car's curb weight—it's weight without a load like gas, bags, passengers—is 1275 kg. It's maximum gross weight—when you put everything you can on it—is 1,670 kg. Gross minus curb=395 kilograms. If your wife weighs even half of that and she wants in, it would be a violation of the rights of the car. We aren't even talking about fitting her hips in the bucket seat.


Now with the back seat, where the children should be. In the specs they call it a 2+2 seats. Two out front, two at the back. But that is an illusion. There is what looks like a mold of a seat, but that's it. If you had little kids you can throw them in, but it would be a violation of their rights as well. Your teenagers would only want to steal the car away from you, but you won't let them. There is room, however, for two amputees.

The Toyota 86 interiors: car cockpit heaven

So that is the proposition. This is a car you can own. This is a car you can buy now. This is a declaration of independence. This is the culmination of a mid-life crisis. That's where the looks and the horsepower comes in.

Your wife must not read this.