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May 12, 2011
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We love superhero movies. We’d try to be more eloquent, but is there a more apt word for the job other than the mighty, all-purpose "awesome?" There’s just something incredibly appealing in seeing costumed, moneyed vigilante/lunatics (we’re looking at you Bruce Wayne and Tony Stark) do their stuff, and light up the screen with their fancy moves, gadgetry, and all around superhero-ness.



But as Superman and his evident dislike for kryptonite has demonstrated, there will always be a catch. In the case of superhero movies, there are the tie-in videogames. For which no words are more apt than "meh," "blah," and "so-so."

As inspired as the movies these games are based on are, the games themselves lack zing, and are bland affairs that doesn’t have most of the ingredients that make games compelling. Steer clear of the 6 most notable offenders, starting with superhero-of-the-moment’s very own.

Thor: God of Thunder (2011, PS3, Xbox 360)
Publisher: Sega



What it promises: The chance to wield Thor’s mighty hammer, the Mjolnir, smash Loki’s noggin with it, and claim “victory for Valhalla.”

Its true identity: A dull brawler with a clunky combat system that makes it infuriating to play, with graphics that would probably encourage Thor to throw a thunderstorm that will destroy the headquarters of whoever made the game.   

Critics say: “It isn’t the worst game I've played, but it's certainly the worst I've played in a long, long time… Let me be very blunt -- do not play this game. It's plodding and dull, and isn't even fun in an unintentional way. Just stay away,” says Richard George of IGN.com.

Catwoman (2004, PS2, Xbox, Gamecube)
Publisher: EA



What it promises: The chance to gawk at Catwoman’s bountiful digitized assets based off of Halle Berry. Somewhere in there is also the chance to play an action game that’s just as bad as the movie.

Its true identity: A game that attempts to imitate the epic, high-flying antics of Prince of Persia. The operative word here is “attempts.” Bad controls, awful voice acting, and uneven gameplay send this game to the kitty litter.

Critics say: “In what can only be described as a creepy touch, letting the game idle for a while shifts it into a series of weird close-ups of Catwoman, who writhes around like a bad stripper and occasionally licks her hands and winks at you,” says Jeff Gerstmann of Gamespot.com.

NEXT: Looks like your armor's a little rusty, Mr. Stark


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WORDS BY: GELO GONZALES

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