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Apr 15, 2017
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We Filipinos like to pray and party (and sometimes, in that order), so much so that the amounts of sacrifice, abstinence, and penitence we put in during the Lenten season are followed by contrition in the form of self-justified reward.

Admit it, the best part about being Catholic is knowing that quitting rice from Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday already means that you’re a good person, because you fasted like Jesus did.

But now the time for repentance is almost over, which means the time for celebration is close. Given that Easter weekend always falls on the hottest month of the year, chances are most of you are reading this while en route to your next island jaunt. FHM compiles a list of naughty-in-their-own way reads that will remind you of the last time you sinned real good.

Gluttony

1) Food: A Love Story by Jim Gaffigan

Fans of stand-up comedian Jim Gaffigan will know the following: he is at his best when he speaks about food, he is happiest when eating it, and that it shows, as he affirms below:

“What are my qualifications to write this book? None really. So why should you read it? Here’s why: I’m a little fat. If a thin guy were to write about a love of food and eating, I’d highly recommend that you do not read his book.” 

Haven’t heard of him yet? This book should be a good introduction. Already a fan? Consider downloading his audiobook, and trust that it’ll sound like a 9-hour comedy special.

2) Like Water for Chocolate (Como agua para chocolate) by Laura Esquivel

Latin American magic realism always makes for a good romance. Apparently, it's a good medium for food erotica, too.

Lust

3) Tampa by Alissa Nutting

Smells like Riverdale, or Lolita. Better yet, It’s the Idiot’s Guide to Grooming.

4) The Delta of Venus by Anais Nin

The French have explored this Delta with enthusiasm, and Nin, while of Cuban descent, was raised in France, possibly making her an authority on the topic of lust.

Greed

5) The Book of Night Women by Marlon James

This is the sophomore work of Jamaican writer James, who upon leaving his country soon found himself winning last year’s Man Booker Prize with his most recent work, A Brief History of Seven Killings.

Night Women may not be literary prize-winning, but it sure casts an uncomfortable spotlight on the struggle of a group of female Jamaicans, six of them the “comfort women” on a sugar plantation located on Jamaica’s eastern coast.

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6) A Week in December by Sebastian Faulks

Following in the wake of the Rushdie controversy is yet another author who is making waves for his work, where Hassan, a student and son of an Muslim businessman, is seen getting involved with an Islamist terror group. This topic, while fresh and incendiary in 2009, might seem more relevant now than ever.

Pride

7) Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

The title says it all. Crime and Punishment takes you on a ride with a man who goes out and commits a crime, and pays for it.

8) All That Man Is by David Szalay

Shortlisted for the 2016 Man Booker Prize, the book tells of the stories (and flaws) of nine men of different ages and social backgrounds, which should leave you with a few realizations about the title theme.

Envy

9) The Red and the Black by Stendhal

If the French know lust, then they definitely know envy. This classic novel revolves around the story of an ambitious French man who, seeking to make a career in the Church after the Napoleonic War, uses his charm and determination to get into the good graces of some powerful bourgeoisie.

Wrath

10) The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie

This book and its author would not have received the wrath of the Muslim World for nothing.

Rushdie’s novel speaks of two Indian Muslims who both survive a plane crash, and in true magic realist fashion, survive as if by divine or supernatural intervention. The book follows these characters as they go on very different paths to recovery. Although it should take more than a book to encourage you to turn away from religion, many believed that this book could be it.

Sloth  

11) Garfield by Jim Davis

In case you’ve never heard, the world’s most widely syndicated comic strip is about a cat who is unapologetic about being a glutton and a sloth. Garfield already knew Mondays were uncool before you even started hating it.

12) Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand

The stoner dude trope is way too overused in film and television these days, so here’s a more destructive take on the seventh sin. In her magnum opus, the originator of the philosophy of Objectivism shows how men are at their worst when they have all the power in the world to do something right, yet choose to sit on their hands and do nada instead.

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