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Jun 17, 2015
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After years of baiting the desperate nerdy masses by remaking almost every other Final Fantasy game except that particular one (Hello, blue balls!), Square Enix finally gave in: The Final Fantasy VII remake has been confirmed! Sweet mother of YES!

The FF godfathers at Square Enix made the announcement during Day 2 of gaming's most-awaited annual convention, the Electronic Entertainment Expo, and subsequently broke the Internet. Gamers (most notably '90s RPG geeks) collectively lost their shit upon hearing the news.

And this isn't just an "HD remaster." This is a brand new version featuring current-gen awesomeness, and will be coming to the PlayStation 4 first as a timed exclusive. Yes, there is hope in humanity, Santa Claus exists, world peace is attainable, and we can believe in love again. What a time to be alive! (And maybe Half-Life 3 next? Hint, hint, Valve.)

So, as we wait for the game's release (currently unspecified), we muse about the moments from FFVII we’d like to relive and reported new features we’re dying to check out. Tear-inducing gamer nostalgia, ahead!


1)   THIS BELOVED CAST OF CHARACTERS

Image via Finalfantasy.wikia.com

Everyone from emo-hero Cloud to that random NPC in Cosmo Canyon (remember Cosmo Canyon?!) will be getting that pimped-out high-pixel treatment. Because the only thing sexier than PS One-era Tifa is Tifa...IN HD!


2) THE CUTSCENES!

If the trailer is anything to go by, playing the remake would be like going through one long interactive Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children!

We're particularly excited about the intro scene, which was one of the most rousing intros we've ever played in a videogame up to that point. As kids then, we barely knew what was going on, save for the fact that it seemed dark, cool, and exciting—especially when that panicky music comes in.

This was how it appeared in the original version:


Video via ROFLSoup

It was remade as a tech demo for the PS3 in 2005, which fueled speculations of a remake:


Video via  IGN

Ten years later, those speculations have finally come true. How will that beloved scene be remade, what with all the space-age, super-HD graphics technology that humanity possesses now?  


3)   FUCK YEAH, LIMIT BREAKS!

Omnislash? Final Heaven? Chaos? Catastrophe? How about Vincent's form-changing limit breaks? We’re hoping to see these "Fuck-It-I'm-Going-Super-Saiyan" moves on a much grander scale.

Here's a video featuring all of them:


Video via Kapotbot


4)   HUNTING DOWN "MATERIA" 

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You know shit is about to go down when you use the Knights of the Round summon materia where thirteen knights appear to defeat the enemy party. The updated version would probably look like a medieval fantasy epic.

One question: Will the summon animations be skippable now?


Video via aubirdforce


5)   CLOUD GETTING ALL DOLLED-UP IN THE CROSS-DRESSING MISSION TO SEDUCE DON CORNEO

Imagine this funny scene in HD! (Or you know, don't.)


Video via Aaronjin

Thanks, technology!


6)   BREEDING GOLDEN CHOCOBOS AND GOING WHEREVER THE HELL YOU WANT ON THE WORLD MAP

In case you've forgotten your chocobo breeding knowledge, here's a little chart:   

Image via Finalfantasykingdom.net


7)   FIGTING OPTIONAL MEGA-BOSSES

Remember these guys?



Images via Image via Finalfantasy.wikia.com

Those are the high-flying Ultima Weapon, the desert-dwelling Ruby Weapon, and the worst of them all, Emerald Weapon, which had that memorable underwater battle that had to be done in less than 20 minutes. Perhaps the remake will throw in another boss for extra torture.


8)   EXPLORING MIDGAR, NIBELHEIM, BUGENHAGEN, AND ALL THE CLASSIC DESTINATIONS

We snuck around Shinra HQ; played the mini-games to death at the Gold Saucer; bred oversized birds at the Chocobo Farm; hung out with our boy Red XIII at his hometown Cosmo Canyon; and nearly got executed in the military base of Junon! Good times! All these names are triggering flashbacks!


9)   AND HOW ABOUT THE CRAZY MOTORCYCLE CHASE?


Video via CTUKeyes


10)   THE SIDEQUEST SEARCH FOR EVERY CHARACTER'S ULTIMATE WEAPON

Unless of course they start charging us for that too via DLC. For the love of budget-conscious '90s gamers, please don't do it, Square Enix!

Image via Finalfantasy.wikia.com


11)   DATE NIGHT AT THE GOLD SAUCER WITH AERITH, TIFA, YUFFIE, OR YES EVEN BARRET (AND DO WE FINALLY GET TO SECOND BASE?)


Video via heorotlinea



12)   THAT ONE-WINGED ANGEL SONG

“Estuans interius ira vehementi SEPHIROTH!”


Video via Dean Thomson

Final Fantasy VII had an operatic musical scoring that few other games had been able to give gamers at that point. From the music in the villages and cities to climactic numbers such as the Sephiroth Song, there were some really memorable tunes in there that take us back when we hear them today. How will the remake reprise the game's music?


13)   THE FINAL DUEL BETWEEN CLOUD AND SEPHIROTH!

That kickass showdown with Sephiroth will look so much more epic now. (Yeah, seeing Sephiroth’s blocky Minecraft-lookin’ ass sprite back then wasn’t as intimidating.)

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Video via ZEROLucario


14)   THE METEOR SPELL BEING SUMMONED, MAKING ITS FINAL DESCENT, IN ALL ITS APOCALYPTIC GLORY, AND HEADING TOWARDS THE PLANET


Video via LetsPlayGGs


15)   WATCH THE AERITH DEATH SCENE (WITH BETTER GRAPHICS AND MORE STABBING ACTION?) AND HAVE OUR GAMER HEART BROKEN ONCE AGAIN


Video via ウントアカ

On our wishlist: Final Fantasy VII DLC packs which hopefully includes an “Aerith Lives” campaign. #WeWantToBelieve

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