When it comes to entertainment, sex sells. So does violence. The potent mix of the two, however, is a recipe that can sate the most animalistic of desires, and creates a grimy, somewhat familiar feeling within the viewer. It uncomfortably tests the moral compass, freeing the individual of repression and inhibition.
It’s like watching a car crash: you want to look away, yet the collision is just too tempting to miss. And hey, sometimes, it’s just wicked fun!
Films that get stamped with an R-rating rarely reach local cinemas, prompting most manyaks film buffs to find their own means of catching a flick that isn’t family-friendly or involves another saturated love team. To make your endless summer hours even hotter (and sometimes bloodier), we’ve prepared a killer so-steamy-and-sadistic NSFW list of some of the most recent R-rated time wasters for a private bedroom screening.
Prepare the tissues, gents! Things are about to get sticky.
1) The One-Woman Fuck Fest
The movie: Nymphomaniac (2013/Directed by Lars von Trier)
NSFW Moments: The two-part drama stars von Trier vet Charlotte Gainsbourg as Joe, a social deviant with a voracious sexual appetite, and one who thrives on kinky acts of promiscuity. She (yes, Joe is actually a Jane) is saved by and pit against the intellectual Seligman (Stellan Skarsgard), a man who is all mind as compared to her self-confessed bodily conquests. The film plays out with Joe retelling her life story to Seligman as the two dissect philosophy, culture, and the human condition from opposing viewpoints.
Not just sex and kink: Though controversial for its use of porn stars and realistic portrayals of intercourse (there’s a blowjob scene that’s in-your-face), you might find that some of the enjoyable scenes are actually those that don’t involve characters knocking boots. For a movie with such an outdated title (people just call nymphos sluts nowadays), this art-house darling is hyper-modern.
2) Sex-Crazed Killer on the Loose
The movie: Maniac (2012/Directed by Franck Khalfoun)
NSFW Moments: This remake of a 1980 exploitation flick revolves around the sad existence of Frank Zitto (Elijah Wood). Plagued by psychosis born from maternal trauma (it’s always the mom), he goes about his daily routine as a mannequin salesman. Unable to hold a decent romantic relationship, the repressed Frank stalks women at night, murdering and scalping them for his human doll collection.
Murder simulation: Crafted using a unique first person point of view, watching the film is literally like seeing through a killer’s eyes. Should this freaky and unnerving tale of solidarity turn you on, it might be time to hire a shrink.
3) Lesbian Lovin’
The movie: Blue is the Warmest Color (2013/Directed by Abdellatif Kechiche)
NSFW Moments: What is it about French women that make them so seductive? Is it the saccharine accent? Their seductively lithe bodies? That organic sex appeal that flows through like a breath of fresh air? It’s all of those things combined and then some, and that’s why this lesbian romance based on a graphic novel of the same name is an R-rated must-see. Starring newcomers Lea Seydoux and Adele Exarchopoulos (both as hot as a freshly baked croissant), Blue is the tale of maddening love and how it can wilt into inexistence.
Borderline exploitation: This Cannes Festival Palme d’Or winner features a seven-minute long sex scene between the two starlets that is mired in controversy. In interviews with the press, the actresses admitted to the straining setup of the shoot, their vulnerability exploited by the demanding director. Let’s just say, we’ve never seen lesbian love scenes in mainstream cinema quite like this. Get ready for a lot of sweet saliva and luscious licking.
4) Teenage Do-Gooder
The movie: The To Do List (2013/Directed by Maggie Carey)
NSFW(?) Moments: Aubrey Plaza, everyone’s favorite grimly quirky gal stars in this sex comedy that makes lists as fun as getting laid. Plaza stars as the socially awkward Brandy: never been kissed, never been touched, and insecure about still having her V-card. But Brandy is an anal A-student, and before heading off to college, she makes sure to try everything from handjobs to cunnilingus to actual penetration.
Show it to: Your uptight girl buddy. Hilarious and ready to poke fun at its female lead, this is every girl’s guide to sexual exploration. Now girls, time to tick things off your list!
5) The Saddest Gigolo
The movie: Shame (2011/Directed by Steve McQueen)
NSFW Moments: Michael Fassbender gives a riveting performance as Brandon, a sex-obsessed man-whore incapable of intimacy. Brandon slowly reaches emotional catharsis, moving from one ludicrous sexual encounter to the next while simultaneously juggling a disturbing relationship with his younger sister. His realization of his numbness, erm, climaxes in an orgy of flesh–his deadened way of life finding no real redemption.
No satisfaction: Though littered with pants-tightening sex scenes, the loneliness creeps through the veins and will render your willy less enthusiastic than when the movie began (not to mention Fassbender’s equipment will make any man feel inadequate). Watch the scene below, where he tempts another dude’s girl with salacious words and a two-finger quickie.
6) Sweet, Sweet Yam
The movie: Rigodon (2013/Directed by Erik Matti)
NSFW Moments: The movie that promised to bring sexy back to Philippine cinema was triumphant in capturing an evocative psychosexual dance between three damaged characters. As Sarah, one-third of this twisted triangle, FHM cover girl Yam Concepcion delivered a breakout performance that titillated, hypnotized, and enchanted men into craving for more.
In good hands: With direk Erik Matti stirring this steamy ship, the sensual thriller was well received by critics and the male movie-going audience. Wondering why? Check out this sweat-inducing scene:
7) Volatile Vigilantes
The movie: Big Bad Wolves (2013/Directed by Navot Papushado, Aharon Keshales)
NSFW Moments: This Israeli dark comedy centers on a small town where children are disappearing and being killed by a predatory pedophile. A rogue cop goes beyond the law, kidnapping a local teacher suspected of the murders. But when the father of one of the victims takes matters into his own hands, the morbid turns twisted. If you need more convincing, it’s filled to the brim with DIY torture, severed body parts, and a hearty dose of ROTFL moments.
A shining recommendation: It’s a grim delight that is one of director Quentin Tarantino’s favorites from last year.
8) Power Bitches are Sexy
The movie: Passion (2013/Directed by Brian De Palma)
NSFW Moments: In Passion, Brian De Palma laces campy dialogue with a neo-noir twist as two corporate colleagues compete in a power struggle to be both the romantic and corporate alpha-bitch. Gorgeous actresses Rachel McAdams and Noomi Rapace melt the screen, swapping spit and proving that you can’t mess with a woman on a mission. Manipulation, murder, and masks during sex? Kinky!
Proven track record: Director Brian De Palma is no stranger to the realm of erotic thrillers. He is the man, after all, that brought you scintillating watches such as Dressed To Kill and Body Double.
The movie: Kiss of the Damned (2012/Directed by Xan Cassavetes)
NSFW Moments: All the tropes for bloodsuckers have been played out in pop culture, from ambitiously traditional vamps of the Anne Rice ilk to the bat-shit embarrassing angst-filled heartbreakers of the Twilight series. But one thing fang-bangers can’t get enough of is the ferocious vampire sex the undead are known for. And though the characters in director Xan Cassavetes' flick are cold to the touch, they have a thirst for fiery romps you wouldn’t mind sinking your teeth into.
The movie: Spring Breakers (2013/Directed by Harmony Korine)
NSFW Moments: Harmony Korine’s pastiche of wasted American youth has four college cuties deciding to hold up a restaurant and have the Spring Break of their masturbatory fantasies. The morality level goes down the toilet pretty quickly as the foursome descend into a petty life of crime, drugs, and hard partying. Plus, just to make your balls get even bluer in the process, Vanessa Hudgens has a poolside threesome with Ashley Benson and James Franco (lucky a-hole!). Now, Instagram that shit!
Watch out for: Disney princesses gone wild, tiny neon bikinis, and mimicking a BJ on a couple of loaded guns. In other words: the stuff the R-rating was made for!
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