If you're not one of those who donated to the dino-blockbuster's $500-million opening weekend, LOOK AWAY NOW!
Jurassic World, the fourth installment to the Jurassic Park franchise, premiered last week to mixed reviews. Some dubbed it as being all park and no bite (get it?) while most reveled in the unabashed popcorn entertainment it provided. Don’t expect poignant narrative arcs, artful plotlines, or serious brewing tension. It’s a dinosaur movie for crying out loud! The promise was more teeth, and after grossing a record-breaking $500 million in its opening weekend weekend, it more than delivered.
A noticeable element of the film, however, is its many allusions to the original movie. Easter eggs were scattered throughout that tickled the fossils of many a Jurassic fan–like the high-tech binoculars used by Tim before the T-Rex attack in the first movie. There were a lot of similarities to spot, but here are some of the more obvious ones that gave audience members a case of dino déjà vu.
One thing’s for sure; the film still resonates of this hard lesson: Don’t fuck with Mother Nature!
1) CHUBBY BROS GETTING EATEN EARLY
In Jurassic Park : That traitor Dennis Nedry was killed by a venom-spewing Dilophosaurus in Jurassic Park as he tried to steal some cryogenically frozen embryos.
In Jurassic World : A less-than-fit security guard falls prey to the Indominus Rex.
2) PEOPLE OF COLOR DIE HORRIFIC DEATHS
In Jurassic Park : Remember Samuel L. Jackson’s Mr. Arnold? His demise in JP wasn’t captured onscreen and was depicted by simply showing his severed arm that led to one huge scream from Laura Dern.
In Jurassic World : Indian actor Irfan Khan’s Simon Masrani got an awesome helicopter sequence before crashing to his death in a blaze of glory.
3) THERE IS AN EXCEPTION, HOWEVER, IF YOU'RE AN ASIAN
In Jurassic Park :
In Jurassic World :
Genetic Biologist Dr. Henry Wu (played by the never-aging BD Wong) was one of the original scientists working for InGen in the first film. In JW, he gets more lines and plays an integral part at shaping the hybrid dinosaur that becomes the theme park’s new attraction and antagonist.
Asians and science: doing their part in helping destroy the human race!
4) SOME POOR ANIMAL GETTING FED TO A DINO
In Jurassic Park : A terrorific T-Rex hacked a poor goat to pieces in JP, and whose remains were thrown toward the window of a vehicle being ridden by the grandkids of the park owner.
In Jurassic World : JW has its own goat moment, too! In this case: a meaty shark that was used to feed the aquatic Mosasaurus, prompting the amusement park-goers to rejoice!
5) KIDS NEARLY GETTING CRUSHED INSIDE MOTOR VEHICLES
In Jurassic Park : Two kids nearly get crushed inside a jeep by the T-Rex.
In Jurassic World : Two kids nearly get crushed inside a futuristic ball-mobile thingy by the I-Rex.
It's a Jurassic rule: Siblings with scrappy personalities trapped in moving objects always get attacked by the alpha dinosaur. Don’t worry, it’s a family-friendly outing, and the PG rating ensures that they ALWAYS narrowly escape before being devoured by a prehistoric predator.
6) CORPORATE CRONIES NEVER MAKING IT TO THE END CREDITS
In Jurassic Park : Slimeball lawyer Donald Gennaro gets chomped on by the T-Rex after abandoning the two kids and hiding out in a bathroom.
In Jurassic World : Vincent D’Onofrio’s military-minded Hoskins gets his arm bitten off by a Velociraptor.
7) THERE'S ALWAYS AN INTELLIGENT CLASS CLOWN
Dr. Ian Malcolm, played by the always-extraordinary Jeff Goldblum, is probably the most quotable character of JP. He’s intelligent, funny, charming, and word-vomits wisdom like: “I'll tell you the problem with the scientific power that you're using here, it didn't require any discipline to attain it. You read what others had done and you took the next step. You didn't earn the knowledge for yourselves, so you don't take any responsibility for it. You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could, and before you even knew what you had, you patented it, and packaged it, and slapped it on a plastic lunchbox.”
If those traits sound familiar, it’s because Chris Pratt’s Owen Grady in JW is much like the good doctor. Hey, if the stereotype works, why change it?
8) RAPTORS GETTING READY TO POUNCE ON HUMAN/S
In Jurassic Park : After a whole lot of chasing around, the raptors finally surround their fleshy prey in the park's visitor center lounge. It could've been bad for the heroes, except another predator shows up...
In Jurassic World : When some intern fell into the raptor pit, raptor-whisperer Pratt had to step in to calm the hungry reptiles. It could've been bad for Pratt, except his otherworldly screen charm caused the raptors to lose their predatory focus momentarily.
9) CAR CHASES, WITH THE BIG BAD DINOS DOING THE CHASING
In Jurassic Park : Jeff Goldblum and company gets chased by a T-Rex and forces the usually eloquent Goldblum to utter the words: "Must. Go. Faster."
Video via Max Leuftink
In Jurassic World : Raptors chase an ambulance with two kids hanging out in the back. In case you were wondering, yes, they forgot to close the doors, leaving the raptors free to jump right in.
There are also on-foot chase scenes of course:
In Jurassic Park : Dr. Grant and Dr. Malcolm use this technique to distract the monstrous dino from crushing and killing John Hammond’s grandkids in JP.
In Jurassic World : Bryce Dallas Howard’s Claire uses it to lure the T-Rex towards its highly evolved brother for...
11) THE CLIMACTIC GRAND DINOSAUR SHOWDOWN
In Jurassic Park : A battle royale of different dinosaur breeds is how both movies climax. In the first film, the T-Rex slugs it out with the Velociraptors, which leads to this iconic scene:
In Jurassic World : The Indominus Rex rages on in an epic match with the trained raptors and the T-Rex, which leads to something that resembles this iconic scene:
12) THE T-REX ALWAYS SOMEHOW ENDS UP AS THE HERO
After all the clawing and biting, it always ends with the mighty T-Rex claiming his victory with a howling roar in an epic shot that shows who the prehistoric king of the park really is.
If only its tiny arms could shrug... oh, wait:
In celebration of Stan Smith Day
Nick Oyzon is in the house!
Paging the local government