We're kidding, of course. It's normal to have wet dreams involving other individuals surrounding your life, and maybe even non-human life forms. But they don't always directly reflect your desires. Sometimes, these dreams can have deeper meanings.
That's what expert dream analyst Kelly Sullivan Walden writes in her new book, The Love, Sex and Relationship Dream Dictionary, released February 1.
Here, we have a selection of some of the revelations inside, as first featured in the New York Post.
1) Sex with your boss
What you think it means: "I'm secretly attracted to my boss."
What the book says it also means: "A boss typically represents authority, and this dream is giving you a sense of your own empowerment. It means you're looking to be the boss in your own life."
BS or not BS? Makes sense, but what if your boss was really just that hot, too?
2) Sex with a celebrity
What you think it means: "I knew it! (Insert celebrity name) and I are really meant for each other."
What the book says it also means: "A star-studded sex dream shows you're ready to stand in the spotlight. You're meant to do something that may impact the public in a way."
BS or not BS? Okay, fine, but could it be that we just really find Ellen Adarna hot? Who needs meaning if the dream's that good?
3) Sex with an ex
What you think it means: "I need to get back with her. I miss her. I still haven't completely moved on."
What the book says it also means: "An ex represents an aspect of yourself that you may have been in touch with when you were with that person, that maybe you don't seem to have right now."
BS or not BS? It sounds like something we'd tell ourselves because everything else is better than admitting, "I'm not over you, baby girl!"
4) Sex with an animal
What you think it means: "I'm secretly into bestiality."
What the book says it also means: "A sex dream with a cow or horse doesn’t mean you've dipped into bestiality—you might just need to unplug. The modern man and woman have gotten out of touch with (his or her) animal instincts because of technology."
BS or not BS? Huh?
5) Sex with an alien
What you think it means: "Really? Aliens?"
What the book says it also means: "Making love to an alien could mean it's time for you to embrace the quirks that make you unique. You're reuniting with a former alien aspect of yourself. Let your freak flag fly."
BS or not BS? Strange but we think it makes sense. Maybe the sex you've been having has become too ordinary and your body is telling you to find some out-of-this-world debauchery.