A famous, chunky guy once said, “Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.”
He wasn’t a cook though, Orson Welles had kachupoy hair in his teen years and he made movies—but he looked forward to lunchtime like the rest of us. He also died of a heart attack years ago this month (wag sana tayo mumu-in).
And like the rest of us, the thing pareng Orson enjoyed most about eating didn’t involve vegetables: He liked his meat. We like our meat. I like it too. Liked it, until about roughly eight months ago, when I decided I didn’t. (No meat, fish, dairy, eggs, or animal products/byproducts).
Here's the author, Khyne Palumar, as she deeply contemplates whether to eat this cake or not...
But let’s say you woke up one morning maga ang paa because of gout and decided meat isn’t for you either. You also can’t eat seafood because you’re allergic, and you won’t drink dairy or eat cheese kasi galing siya sa dede ng baka. You can’t eat any of the things you used to.
People will probably ask,“P*tang ina,ano pa kakainin mo?” Or as Pareng Orson would say, "What’s for lunch?"
Below are some tasty answers to those pressing food questions (Are you getting enough protein? Kumakain ka pa ba?), and here's to hoping everyone just shuts up and eats.
Don’t ask if it’s healthy though.
1. EXTRA RICE
Not eating meat doesn’t mean you have to eat less. Women who eat rice are more of a real man than men on no-rice diets because of this. Extra rice is just another 200 calories a cup, but who’s counting? Kanin pa.
Technically another cup of rice; or also 200 more calories for every can or bottle. Add another bote and you’re hypothetically eating just another cup of rice. Why do I have beer for lunch? Why shouldn’t I?