There are those among us who still think #Laboracay is still worth going to, and those who DGAF and would rather spend their precious vacation days (and money) going somewhere with less people (and lumot).
But in a country where summers last practically half (or most of) the year, you don't need to be in Boracay on Labor Day to be able to use the tips below. So go ahead and scroll down and learn how to get a bangin' bod that'll last you longer than Laboracay.
Watch and learn
Avenue Q has it right: the Internet IS for porn.
While some will argue that sex—or whacking off to porn—can actually be considered a workout, the Internet is the best repository for all kinds of distractions from reality, like actual workouts (and alternative facts).
If working out to a laptop ain't your thing, then you can reserve the bigger screen for its original purpose and use a tablet or smartphone for your fitness trackers.
Men's Fitness recently compiled 13 of the best fitness and health apps of last year, with different apps that can bring you closer to your Laboracay goals.
Variety is the spice of life
And bodyweight exercises are the most underrated option in the fitness industry.
FHM gives you 12 minutes to complete these five in a quick circuit:
These come in different gravity-defying variants that will challenge muscles on your back, side, and front, making it the best exercise for your core muscles.
Do: a minute of each, followed by one set of 8-12 pushups (see next exercise).
Try these on for size:
Hardly just an upper-body exercise, push-ups challenge your stabilizing muscles (aka the ones that hold you together), legs, and glutes.
Do: a set of 8-16 reps and move on to your legs.
While the normal push-up is challenging enough, these variations can give your pecs a run for their money:
Lunges are exaggerated steps, and you can take them in any direction or height!
Do: 8-12 lunges (on one leg) then come back to your plank of choice! Repeat 4x, 2 sets per side.
Check this slideshow for the many kinds of lunges you can take:
Squats give you that powerful push off the ground, which means they are perfect thing for running and boxing enthusiasts (coz boxing is as much about the footwork as it is about your punches!).
Do: Do 8-12 reps of these (in lieu of lunges if you’re nursing a knee injury) or alternating with lunges for more hamstring action.
5) Speed Walking
You don't need to run at a fast pace in order to give your heart something to do. Speed walking does the trick without necessarily straining your knee joints.
Do: 10-15 minutes, before or after your plank-pushup-lunge circuit.
Now, just in case you're reading this sometime in the middle of April...then your determination is probably as great as your desperation.
Abs are built in the kitchen
There's a reason Pampanga's Best Tocino doesn’t advertise their products next to a half-naked James Reid, or a bikini-clad Anne Curtis. Unless you’ve got the genes of a cyborg, then you can probably relate to belly bloat.
But blaming our genes for our muffin tops is a huge cop-out...especially because there are now practical solutions to losing the bulge.
Want abs? Eat right by having:
More fiber, less salt/artificial sweetener. For regular and more successful visits to the throne room, and because sodium and sugar alcohols cause bloating.
Food at a slower pace. In the hopes that you get full faster, and therefore eat less. Chewing with your mouth shut also decreases "air swallowing" (thus upping your chances of getting a follow-up date with that chick who gave you a chance on Tinder).
Drink right, too: The good news is the caloric difference between 80-proof dark and clear hard liquor is negligible.
So next time you go out with your beer-kada, skip the beer and go HARD—literally.
If abs are built in the kitchen, then love handles are built in front of the TV (porn optional).
A wise friend once said, "The bed is a place for only two activities: sleeping (alone and with someone)." If you must park yourself on a soft surface, then choose your bed and get some Zzzs, or some action.
So make that your Lenten sacrifice: lay off parking your butt in front of your screen and get your butt to work!