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'I Wore My Jeans For 7 Days Straight Without Washing Them, And I'm Actually Okay!'

An FHM staffer tells us the things he experienced as he went through an entire week without changing his pants.
by Chise Alcantara | Sep 28, 2015
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Even if most guys wouldn't admit it (because it does sound gross when you say it out loud), most of us will never wash our pants unless we really needed to. By "REALLY NEEDED TO," we mean until we spill something on it or we see it twitching by itself at the corner of our room just as we're about to sleep. Either way, you should probably douse that shit with holy water or at least some detergent before your friends start sitting at another table during lunch.

FHM.com.ph decided to hold a little experiment with me, Chise Alcantara, as their guinea pig. The order: to wear my pants every day for a whole week no matter what happens to it. This involved going out for field work through the midday heat and through the pouring rain while eating out and spilling various types of edibles on it. They wanted to simulate what would happen if you lose your luggage during a vacation or maybe are just too lazy to wash your laundry—at least that's what they told me. (For all I know, the web editors could've been just trying to set me up for one elaborate, mean but undoubtedly hilarious prank.) 

Here are a few things I noticed...


1)   I FARTED LESS

I'm pretty sure it was a psychological thing but I noticed that I didn't fart as much whilst wearing said jeans. I think I didn't want to add any more odors to the building array of scents that my jeans could possible hold that week. So if you want to develop some gastronomical control, you might want to try out this experiment.


2)   IT FEELS BEST DURING DAY 3 AND 4, AND WORST DURING DAY 7

The jeans felt most comfortable to wear during the middle of the week because the fibers and threads of the fabric seemed to be "broken in." You know that feeling when you buy a new pair of shoes and you want to wear it out before you play shoot some hoops with the boys? It seemed like "dirtying" the jeans helped them develop that natural, comfortable, and softer feel. Though wearing it more than seven days and might cause you to experience the next observation.


3)   IT DOES GET ITCHY

I could really feel the discomfort and that itchy feeling during the last day of the experiment. It was weird but I swear, I could feel something moving in there, like a group of unknown organisms founded a colony and were just waiting to stage a coup d'etat in the lower part of my body.

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4)   THOUGH IT DOESN'T SMELL AS BAD AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD

 Yes, I smelled them, and even if they did get rained on and sweated on a lot that week (because of tons of field work) they didn't smell as bad as you would think it would. Sure, it didn't smell like sampaguita fabric conditioner but it didn't smell like something that came out of the kanal neither.


5)   PEOPLE DON'T REALLY NOTICE THAT YOU'RE AN OUTFIT REPEATER

Big secret: Guys usually wear their jeans a couple of days in consecutive then switch to another pair than switch back again to the first pair a couple of days later so people won't notice that they're only switching between two pairs of jeans a month.

It's a tactic as old as time but what if I told you that people don't really notice? I mean, if you're going to wear jeans every day, people usually just take it for granted and notice your shirt instead. So if you're not wearing jeans that are colored katipunero red, people probably won't judge you or even care if you wear your favorite pair for the whole week.


6)   THE RATS AND COCKROACHES IN OUR APARTMENT DIDN'T NEST IN IT

I have a tendency to wipe my hands on my jeans when I eat, and I'm sure I spilled some yogurt on my jeans that week so I'm positive that there was food residue on my pants but surprisingly, the vermin that infests my apartment didn't seem to take interest in my OOTW—or maybe they were too disgusted to touch my garments? Ugh, ipis and their unreachable standards.

If I had the choice, I probably wouldn't wear a pair of jeans for a whole week without airing them out for a day or two in between. The discomfort wasn't unbearable but there are other ways to save your money instead of skipping laundry day.


How long have you guys gone wearing the same pair of jeans? Do you guys have any other challenges you want the FHM team to try? A briefs challenge perhaps? Please no.

Photography Mark Jesalva
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