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Jan 2, 2013
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Awards shows are everywhere. Soon, there will be an awards show for the best award shows. But yeah, there's nothing wrong in giving credit where credit is due. So without further ado, here's our Top Sports Moments of 2012. Nope, there is no Best Float in this one.


BEST PICTURE: MANNY PACQUIAO KNOCKOUT

It was The Punch That Shocked a Nation. With only a couple of seconds left in the sixth round of their fourth encounter last December 8 in Las Vegas, Manny Pacquiao was hit by Juan Manuel Marquez with a vicious right counter-punch. Buenas noches, Pacman! Manny French-kissed the canvass as he fell face first like a drunkard who just took his 6,8347th shot of cheap rum. No one in the entire Milky Way, perhaps even El Dinamita, expected the killer knockout. Saying that the entire archipelago was shocked is a massive understatement. It was a shocking and monumental blow by a brilliant fighter on one of boxing’s all-time greats. Knockout of the Decade, yes?

Why, You Ask: Every time a single punch silences 90 million people, it deserves recognition. Pacquiao was the favorite heading into the fight, having “won” their last two meetings. But Marquez turned the table and did what he wanted to do, which was to find redemption. The only thing people will remember about the rivalry even after 8,394 years is El Dinamita’s nasty knockout. Or the fact that he used to drink his own piss.
 
Mandatory YouTube clip: If there was one person who took Pacquiao's loss the hardest, it's Mommy Dionisia. Pac-Mom ranted on national TV about how his son was being used “like an animal.” She also went into borderline-insane fits, attributing the defeat to Pacman's involvement with pastors and for turning his well-chiseled back on Catholicism. As they say, there’s nothing like a mother’s love—especially of this kind.


 

BEST ACTOR: MICK PENNISI

Are you kidding? Was there any doubt? Mick Pennisi made global headlines with his award-winning performance on The Flop Seen Around the World. The veteran center acted his way to hoops infamy with his ridiculously late flop after Petron import Jameel Watkins threw at him the ball last March. Watkins action was in response to the karate chops he received from Pennisi, who channeled his inner Mr. Miyagi. It was a hilarious and audacious act by the Barako Bull enforcer. The international media definitely—how do you say it?—LOL-ed. The Flop was featured in big-time sports outfits such as ESPN Radio, Ball Don't Lie, and CBS Sports. It was a flop that surely didn’t flop.

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Why, You Ask? Pennisi's acting chops (pun not intended) are truly Cannes-worthy: the quick and sincere look into the eyes of Watkins, the elegant backward tilt of the head, the graceful drop to the floor, and the cathartic covering of the eyes. He made Marlon Brando look like Johnny Abarrientos in the cinematic magnum opus, Go Johnny Go.
 
Mandatory YouTube clip: A viral video isn't complete without a parody. It’s like pizza without cheese, Kim Kardashian without her Mt. Everest of an ass, and Dwight Howard without his beautiful stroke from the free throw line. Oh, wait. But a video gold like The Flop deserves a terrific music video. Hence, the birth of the equally audacious and overly well-produced Teach Me How to Floppy. Warning: Will NOT cause LSS.


NEXT: The awards for Worst Actor and Breakout Performance of the Year


WORDS: PAOLO MARIANO
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