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May 16, 2014
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The second round of the 2014 NBA Playoffs is in the books...and it just wasn't as exciting as the first round. The opening round was "Wrecking Ball" Miley Cyrus while the conference semis leaned more towards the Hannah Montana end of the spectrum.

We have no idea why we're making Miley Cyrus references, but it's probably because the following things in the second round failed to excite us:

1) Zero overtime games. NBA Premium is expensive. WE WANT MORE ACTUAL GAME MINUTES.

2) Zero game-winning buzzer-beaters. Come on, Spurs. Would it have hurt you to give Damian Lillard another chance to chuck off one of his signature buzzer-beaters, the highlight of highlights? (Actually, yes, that would've hurt you, and that's why we're not an NBA coach).

3) Zero fan harassment from Blake Griffin. WE WANT MORE FAN HARASSMENT OF THE PLAYFUL NON-PUNCHY KIND:

...AND MORE INCREDULOUS I-DIDN'T-DO-IT-MANEUVERS:

Save for a few games here and there, blowouts were in fashion this round. Let's recap...

EASTERN CONFERENCE

(1) Indiana Pacers Vs. (5) Washington Wizards

(image via Bleacher Report)

The one-sentence recap: The Pacers remain a maddeningly unpredictable powerhouse as they drop the first game, string together three wins, then gets blown out, before showing the Wiz the door in Game 6.

Gising (na naman for the nth time) ang higanteng natutulog: Roy Hibbert

Roy Hibbert is the poster boy for the Pacers' wild postseason inconsistency. And typically, inconsistency makes for far juicier conversation than plain, old consistency. Here's the now-you-see-me-now-you-don't numbers from Hibbert this round:

  • Game 1: 1 assist, 2 blocks, 2 turnovers, and that's it - LOST
  • Game 2: 28 points, 9 rebounds, 2 blocks - WON  
  • Game 3: 14 points, 5 rebounds, 3 blocks - WON
  • Game 4: 17 points, 9 rebounds, 2 blocks - WON
  • Game 5: 4 points, 2 rebounds, and that's it - LOST
  • Game 6: 11 points, 7 rebounds, 2 blocks - WON

The proof is in the pudding: Hibbert scores in double digits, Pacers win. 

Best Hakeem Olajuwon impersonation: Marcin Gortat

For one game, The Polish Hammer transformed into The Polish Hakeem Olajuwon with a 31-point 16-rebound performance marked by deft cuts and positioning, soft-swishing hook shots, and a few turnaround fadeaway jumpers.

His 16 boards led the team in outrebounding the Pacers by 39. The East's No. 1 ranked team was also limited to just 23 rebounds, a franchise Playoff low.

  


(2) Miami Heat Vs. (6) Brooklyn Nets

(Image via thephillygodfather.com)

The one-sentence recap: After sweeping the Heat in the regular season, the Nets find out they've been dealt a hand of false hopes and expectations as the defending champs demolish them, 4-1.  

Favorite Heat Player of the series: Norris Cole. Just kidding. We're going with Jordan-mode LeBron James!

 

In spite of the 4-1 dismantling, the Nets seemed like they were actually hanging in there with the Heat. After the Nets' Game 3 win, the final two games were decided by a combined eight points. But really, was it that close?

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LeBron showed in this series that he can just turn it on when he wants to—and when he does, it's time to say a prayer. In LeBron's case, that means suddenly pouring in 49 points or becoming Joe Johnson's worst nightmare:

 

Last dance: It pains us to say this but Kevin Garnett's time might finally be up. In five games, the former MVP registered 0 and 2-point games, cracking the double-digit mark only once in Game 3, their only win.

Unless KG magically turns back the clock next season, it's unlikely that he'll be screaming like this again:


NEXT: The Western powers show their might!
 


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