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Nov 12, 2016
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Three weeks into the 2016-17 NBA season and us hoops fans have already been peppered with otherwordly performances, gaudy statlines, and crazy thrillers.

Everyday has been a highlight reel for the Association, which makes it a point to compile the top plays of the night through its official YouTube channel.

But aside from the sick slams, dazzling dimes, and ridiculous rejections, we found another thing that fans look forward to in the daily mixtapes:

Commentators.

Adding flavor to all those displays of flash and ferocity, the voice-over's job is to hype an already intensified sequence. And just recently, FHM discovered that there are actually several people tasked to do such cool commentary.

We rank them based on how well they do their thing, using the names that viewers had given them:


4) Onemoretime-mentator

Arguably the most boring of the bunch, the dude sounds and announces like he has a cold that a Westbrook rim rattler or Marc Gasol long bomb couldn't cure. His voice has the ability to play down an impossible circus shot or a huge alley-oop dunk. And his favorite line? Guess.


3) Frat-mentator

Remember that bro who crashes at your place, plays 2K with you, and is usually high? That's the frat-mentator. Playing it cool while not lacking emotion, his setup (notice the delay?) and wordplay still needs improvement for him to be on par with his predecessors.

2) Pirate-mentator

He ends up as a runner-up for his lack of wit, but the verbal buccaneer got this high because of his enunciation, especially of names of international players, and how he puts emphasis in between his phrases. One commenter even christened him as the King of Stressed Syllables.


1) GOAT-mentator

The master of puns, the king of rhymes, the ultimate speed freak—his perfect mix of consistency and unpredictability easily makes him the best play-caller in the NBA. In the words of Forrest Gump's mom, the GOAT-mentator is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get.

 

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