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Bagong Buhay: 10 New Year's Resolutions For A Better Facebook Life

Because you don't want to be the guy everyone despises on Facebook...
by KC Calpo | Jan 8, 2015
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We're now in the very early stages of 2015 and the excitement over having clean slates, making fresh starts, and “claiming” whatever is high right now. As such, now's also the perfect time to take another (and longer) look at your list of goals and resolutions for the year. How are you doing so far, guys? And have you included your social media habits in that list?

Yep, we're of the opinion that overall Facebook usage should also be included in everyone's list of resolutions. We're all guilty of misusing FB in the past (or right now, LOL) one way or another and this year, we want to be better Facebookers—and NOT be the user you Unfollow, or worse, Unfriend and Block. #FriendshipOver

We help you get started on cleaning up your online act by giving you 10 Facebook New Year's resolutions. Don't get us wrong; we're not saying you've done something wrong, we just don't want you to be another online douche.


"I WON'T LIKE MY OWN POSTS ANYMORE"

My, oh my, that's a witty Facebook status/photo/link/video. Good job, myself. *slow clap*

There's no need for you to Like it, too, and/or be the first to do so. We all know you like what you posted, and it looks really sad if you're the only one who Likes it. Plus, it makes us think that...

facebook resolutionsGIF via Giphy.com

Don't be the lamest person on Facebook, oki?


NO MORE LIKE-WHORING

facebook resolutionsImage via Pandawhale.com

And since we're talking about Likes, remember that social media in general is about having conversations and sharing content. It's not a contest. The number of Likes on a Facebook post should never be your basis for popularity, importance or self-worth. People will Like what they like and begging for Likes doesn't just make you look pathetic, it's also super-uncool.

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On a related note, the same goes for fishing for compliments. Don't ask questions you probably won't like the real, honest answer to.


NO MORE PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE STATEMENTS

facebook resolutionsImage via Quickmeme.com

You have something to say? Say it. Don't hide it with passive-aggressive behavior or hirits that almost always end up making matters worse. Instead of “making parinig” and posting vague insults (and then hurting the feelings of your overly sensitive or guilty contacts), talk to your relative, friend, colleague or acquaintance directly and sort it out like the responsible adults you truly are.


NO MORE FACEBOOK FIGHTS

AKA: No more drama!

facebook resolutionsGIF via Giphy.com

Fighting online and trolling is a waste of precious time, not to mention freakin' stressful for everyone involved—hell, just seeing it unfold on our News Feed gives us a migraine, every damn time. And...spoiler alert: NO ONE WINS.

Seriously. The less virtual shit you put up with, the better you'll feel.


"I WILL THINK BEFORE I CLICK FROM HEREON"

Before you hit the Share button, think about where that “news” comes from. Do your research, verify that it comes from legit sources, and make sure you're not falling for a hoax like this:

As for those gross and gruesome videos and “facts”? One word: NO. Keep it clean, guys, or you're off our News Feed (and Friend List) forever.


NO MORE GAME INVITE-BOMBING

facebook resolutionsImage via Forum.santabanta.com

We don't care if you want more lives for Candy Crush Saga, or need help with your farm or whatever mobile game you've hooked up your Facebook account to. We want nothing to do with it, so please stop sending us game invites.

To use a line from Gone With The Wind: "Frankly, my dear, we don't give a damn."


NO MORE OVERSHARING

It's fun to have the freedom to say whatever you want on Facebook, whenever you want, right? Right?

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Let us give you a couple of cold, hard truths. First, no one needs to know about every little detail of your life. These include episodes of constipation or LBM, after-jerjer photos, your latest heartbreak, family or work problems, and other private information that should be kept exactly as that: PRIVATE.

Here's another one: Mouthing off about anything and everything doesn't make you look good, smart, deep or well-informed. Not at all. It actually makes people look at you in the worst ways, and it turns you into a whiny contender for the next humiliating meme. Some may commiserate with you, but most of us are (in all honesty) judging you.

facebook resolutionsGIF via Giphy.com

The gist: Think very carefully before you post. Do we really need to know that? No? Fine then, don't post it. Thank you very much.


NO MORE NARCISSISM

facebook resolutionsGIF via Whathappensatmizzou.com

Hey, you look awesome. Nice photo!

Okay, one photo's enough. Please don't take 100+ more photos of yourself for today.

Related: Not every social media post is about you. Relaaaaaaax.


NO MORE 'AUNTIE-ING'

facebook resolutionsImage via Animeotakus.org

We define auntie-ing as:

  • Liking and commenting on everything your younger relatives post
  • Posting things your relatives would rather not have the public know about and see, like awkward childhood photos and “blackmail” material
  • Asking inappropriate and intrusive questions regarding your relationship status, your exes, and who you're with in your photos
  • Gossiping about us on other relatives' posts and message threads. We do see those comments, you know.

To all our beloved titas: Send us Facebook Messages instead, please and thanks.


"I WONT HIJACK THREADS ANYMORE"

facebook resolutionsImage via Smartcareofamerica.com

Think of it as someone taking over an actual conversation and trying to be the Life of the Party—and failing miserably. No one likes attention whores. Stick to the topic, and keep the comments relevant. This is also called the anti-epal resolution.

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