Attending the Electronic Entertainment Expo is the ultimate gamer wet dream. Well that, plus being with '90s Lara Croft and Morrigan. The biggest video game convention features awesome branded merch (because Link’s Skyward Sword is the most practical purchase ever), showroom floor demos of unreleased titles, the biggest announcements, and of course hot Overwatch cosplays.
Too bad the closest thing we’ll get to all that action are the livestreams but hey, we’ll take what we can get. With Nintendo’s Switch and PS4’s VR headset out in the market for months, plus Microsoft raring to overtake the competition with its upcoming 4k hardware, E3 2017 (taking place from June 13-15) is shaping up to be an epic one.
And we’re sure you’ve already got info overload in the days leading up to E3, so we decided to give you the short TL;DR version. So get your internet connection ready, brace yourselves for buffering screens, and keep your eyes peeled for the following highlights.
SNES Mini Classic Edition, maybe?
Xbox’s recent online survey about E3 2017 accidentally name-dropped the SNES Mini, which at the time was only the subject of rumors. (Nice going promoting your competitor, bro!) So yeah, it’s pretty much confirmed by now and we’re hoping Nintendo finally unveils their next microconsole. Chrono Trigger, Earthbound, Super Mario RPG, here we come!
Not to be confused with the bomba film (because we’re tito like that), we’re stoked to finally see the specs, the compatible games, and overall stats of Microsoft’s 4k mega console. Maybe they’ll give Halo 6 the 4k treatment? Will it be a worthy adversary to Sony’s PS4 Pro? Guess we’ll just have to watch and find out.
Assassin’s Creed: Origins
Other than being set in ancient Egypt and delving into the beginnings of the Assassins, there’s not much to go on. We’ll just have to wait to get our collective minds blown when they finally show full trailers during the conference. Fingers crossed that they don’t announce another crappy movie adaptation.
Call of Duty: WWII
CoD gets stripped down to the bare bones shooter essentials. WWII ditches the state-of-the-art weaponry and goes back to simpler time full of gritty violence and gore. It kinda sounds like the gamer equivalent of listening to a live acoustic version of a favorite song. The developers will be touching on the Holocaust in the game, so we’re curious to see how that goes down.
Marvel Vs. Capcom: Infinite
We’ve got most of the classic Capcom characters but not even one X-Men member on the Marvel side. That sounds like a great oversight on their part so we wish the rumors of a special DLC are true. E3 2017 is MvC's chance to reveal more characters and show off some button-mashing supers.
Far Cry 5
The FC series veers away from exotic locales and give us the batshit insanity of redneck America. The antagonists in the game are a religious cult forcing everyone to convert or be killed. We’re expecting an actual playthrough of the game to show how the co-op option in story mode is going to work. And with all the shit happening in the world today, playing this game might get too real.
Red Dead Redemption 2
We’ve previously waxed poetic on why Red Dead Redemption is fucking awesome and we’re expecting the next game to give us all that and more. The prequel is set during the heyday of John Marston’s gang so we’d like to see a more in-depth look into the multiplayer campaign. Perhaps a co-op heist-type situation?
Wolfenstein: The New Colossus
Since, you know, we’re not expecting a new Elder Scrolls game any time soon. Besides, we’ve already gotten hints of a sequel to Wolfenstein: The New Order during last year’s conference. We’re stoked to see Bethesda finally back up their claim of the game being “fucking bananas” by giving us some hard evidence this time.
Post-Kojima Era Metal Gear
The Metal Gear series has always been Konami’s bread and butter, so when its creator Hideo Kojima peaced outta the company, we were shookt. And with Kojima’s solo project Death Stranding pulling out at the last minute (hehe), gamers will be deprived of the video game auteur’s genius in this year’s E3. So, we are relying on Konami to win us back with this zombie survival spin-off. How about a new Silent Hill game or an entirely new series altogether?
Return of the Comeback Announcements
The Shenmue and Shin Megami Tensei series gaves us major blue balls due to cliffhangers and years of inactivity. But then—surprise, surprise—new sequels were announced awhile back. Expect game devs to keep chugging along on the nostalgia train so they can milk us of all our money by giving us updates on old faves.
Now you know what to show and tell your barber
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