Hey you! Yes you, the pogi bro or the ganda gal who's reading this piece right now! You have a smartphone, right? Heck, we're willing to wager you have more than one!
We Pinoys love our smartphones to bits—we take it everywhere (even in the shower!), use it every day, and become totally batshit crazy when we lose it. Smartphones have become part of our culture (wazzup, kitikitext generation!), a culture that has evolved through the years and has become truly interesting (and sometimes irritating), thanks to stuff that all local phone geeks can definitely relate to, such as...
A GAZILLION CALL-AND-TEXT PROMOS
This may be the age of mobile Internet and social media, but there’s still plenty of action on the call-and-text side of things. That’s why you’re constantly bombarded by call-and-text promo ads online, on TV, on the radio, and on print media. They're everywhere—and we're not complaining! You see, with how things are on our beloved third-world motherland, these call-and-text promos help us stretch our skimpy budget even more.
GIF via Quizzicalllama
So you’ve got a fancy, new bleeping edge phone capable of bleeping fast 4G LTE speeds…and you can never find a decent LTE signal. Welcome to the Philippines, where it’s always more fun...except when we're talking about wireless Internet. Yes, local 4G exists. Sadly, finding it is easier than finding a needle in Coach Rio's afro.
THE WAITING GAME FOR THE NEWEST SUPERPHONES
Oooh. Tim Cook said the new iPhone 6 would be available in one week for $199. You didn’t believe a word he said. And you didn’t start camping out in front of Power Mac Center either. Tim Cook’s words were just code for “It will be available in a month or two when local retailers and telcos get a hand on supply.” And you didn’t believe the price either. Good for you!
Samsung Galaxy S5? Apple's keynote launching of the new iPhones? Pfft. Many of us were glued to the Xiaomi sale on Lazada and the OPPO launch in Singapore while others set their sights on one of those affordable super-powered octa-core phones from the likes of Cherry Mobile, Starmobile, and MyPhone. The sosi matapobre disapproves but whatever. We're just fortunate we have these brands to thank for helping us save more cash.
THE DREADED JEJETEXT
Image via Jejedex
This one’s a headscratcher. Jejetext was born from faster (and cheaper) texting on number pads, but in these days of touchscreen phones, jejetext lives on. Why, Lord, why? You get texts in jeje. Maybe (aminin!) you send texts in jeje, too. The days of the Nokia number pad dumbphones may be over, but jejetext will never die.
Jejetext will have the last laugh.
TEXT SPAM (AKA THE "CONGRATS, YOU WON BULLSHIT MONEY FROM A BULLSHIT GROUP!")
Image via Princess Sarah Memes on Facebook
You’ve heard it all before: Your mobile phone number has been chosen as a winner from a contest you never joined and an organization you never heard of. Of course, you will send them your bank account details. Right? Right.
There’s also the classic “kmzta na P0h kayo? eto bagong number ko. pdla kayo pera, k?” and the nefarious “You’ve been charged P500 for MMS. If this is incorrect, please text DONATE 500 to XXXXX,” and our recent favorite, “You’ve won in a Google raffle. Send an email to email@example.com.” Pinoy ingenuity at its best worst.
Speaking of which, click here for genius ways to reply to text scammers. Hit it and be on your way to revenge.
TEXTING WHILE DRIVING
Image via Fullpunch.com
As if slogging through traffic and dodging insane UX Express drivers wasn’t bad enough, texting while driving has become a national addiction. We mean, how inconsiderate can these drivers get?Those texts you’re getting are important!
Seriously, if you're stuck in traffic, pause and look around. Chances are you'll see texter-drivers who just can't seem to let go of their phones even if it meant getting a whole lot closer to a bloody end in mangled strips of metal.
THE CAMPHONE GENERATION
GIF via Rebloggy.com
At concerts, inside restaurants before eating, at parties, at celebrity spottings, at the fishball stand, during accidents, camera phones are documenting every move you make. Who needs CCTV? In the Philippines, someone has a camera phone in their hand at any moment. And they’re ready to take pictures given the slightest excuse.
THE TINGI-LOAD CULTURE
Image via danisalasalan
Go to sari-sari stores and you'll see them: people who buy mobile phone load by the tingi. Nothing wrong with that; we actually think this system is a nice way to help cash-strapped geeks stay connected. Couple that with call-and-text promos and you'll know why everyone—from pedicab drivers to college kids and yuppies—are always in the loop. Yep, we're one connected nation, indeed.