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Oct 4, 2014
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Text spammersthey're a frustrating lot, texting you anything from discounted condo prices to dubious get-rich-quick bank policies that you don't give a shit about. The worst part is they're all around us. Who here is still a text spam virgin? You'd be lying if you say, "Me! My phone hasn't been penetrated yet!"

how to reply to text spamImage via Princess Sarah Memes on Facebook

We don't know them and the great mystery that is how-the-eff-do-they-get-our-numbers is still unsolved. But we take solace in the fact that, while we might not be able to get rid of them, there are several ways to get back at these assholes.

"Report them to the NTC," you say? Nah. That's boring, not to mention futile a possibly long process. Because all of us are itching for instant payback with a few laughs on the side, we present to you the epic ways to respond to text spam!

So, when you get one next time, you can simply...


PLAY ALONG...AND MAKE IT HURT IN THE END

Unknown SOBs who pretend as someone dear to you and then asks for prepaid load credit via SMS are legit text scammers. However, we bet our sweaty balls they send a bunch of these "load requests" to a bunch of people so we're bunching them together with text spammers as well.

Anyway, when you receive a message that starts along the lines of "Hi, eto bagong roaming # ko. Musta na u?" be wary. When you've determined that it's just a poser aiming to fool, then you can just play along, do a bit of pretending yourself, and drop the bomb at the end of the conversation, like so:

Start with...

how to reply to text spam

And end with...

how to reply to text spamImages via Ken Go; for the full convo, click here!

Sure, you'll spend a few pesos, but the ending should be priceless. Can you say pinaasa? #RightBackAtYa

Apparently, there have been several would-be victims who reportedly already did this, so go ahead, you have our blessing.


UNLEASH LOLA

Text spamming is wrong, and there's no better person than our dear grandmother to drive home that point. Show her the spam message, and rest assured that she'll dig deep down and unleash an epic sermon not even your parish priest can equal.

We imagine a reply like this:

how to reply to text spam

Nobody, and we mean NOBODY, messes with lola's beloved apo.


NEXT: Takutin mo, 'tol! 


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