Look, countless people have already told us just how stupid wrestling is.[firstpara]
It’s scripted, it’s a telenovela for men, and it involves beefy dudes in costumes no man outside the ring should be caught in. We call these countless people, cynics.
Once you’re a wrestling fan, you’re hooked, you’re going to be hooked no matter what anyone tells you, and it will be supremely hard to convince the cynics that surround you just exactly why.
If you’re one to agree with us, then high-five brother! We shall continue to be fans. And indulge we shall in this new wrestling game, WWE All-Stars.
A sweet, sweet serving of wrestling history
We could talk about the gameplay, the nuances (or the lack thereof), the old-school, arcade-y feel of the game, but we know why we’re getting the game: The roster.
WWE All-Stars packs as many of our favorite wrestlers as it could in a tight, little muscle-bound spectacular. The 30-man roster should knock out any hardcore wrestling like someone on the unfortunate end of Shawn Michael’s sweet chin music.
Legends Andre the Giant, Hogan, Roddy Piper, Stone Cold, and the Ultimate Warrior, among others lace it up in the digital ring while current superstars Cena, Randy Orton, HHH, Mysterio represent today’s wrestlers in power. It’s a star-studded list, and one that will have you pitting Andre the Giant and The Big Show an infinite number of times.
Giving realism a smackdown
If you’ve played any recent Smackdown Vs. Raw games (if you’re still reading at this point, then we’re sure you have) then you know that many of the names we mentioned above have already appeared in those games. All-Stars though gives you an experience that’s thoroughly distinct from the presentation to the gameplay.
The graphics alone should clue you in on that. It’s cartoony, the wrestlers have ridiculously oversized biceps, and the colors are bright and carry that action-figure sheen. Playing the game will make you feel like you’re 9 or 10 years old again, and you’re pitting plastic toys against one another. Before you know it, (and after you stop complaining about the lack of lifelike graphics) you’re having yourself some good old videogame wrestling fun.
Remember those button-mashing affairs you’ve had with the wrestling games you used to play in the arcades? WWE All Stars is not exactly like them, but as far as tone and vibe goes, we’re categorizing this one as an arcade game.
The game’s simple strike-and-grapple system is definitely more accessible than its more realistic counterparts. In the world of wrestling games today, this helps WWE All Stars separate itself from the pack. The less constricting feel of the gameplay should gratify quicker than the complex control systems found in, say, UFC and MMA games. This isn’t to say though that the game is dumb. You’re still going to need to learn how to play it, just not so in the manner that you’d have to read through pages and pages of an instruction manual in other games in this genre.
Are you ready?
You’re going to have fun pulling off all those crazy finishers, and moves. You’ll love the roster. But truth be told, if you’re anything less than a hardcore wrestling fan, then you might find the initial rush waning a bit too quickly. This isn’t the deepest game, we have to admit.
For true WWE fans though? WWE All Stars is a fun, loving tribute to the sport, and one that shouldn’t be missed.
WORDS BY: GELO GONZALES