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If Videogame Heroes Had To Make A Living In The Philippines

Our imagination goes to work again and reimagine videogame stars as everyday Filipino employees
by Chris Martin | Sep 19, 2014
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Sure they can take down diabolical organizations or pull your skull and spine out of your body in one go, but can their move set help them land a job in the Final Stage-worthy environment of Metro Manila? Because, come on, you can’t pay the bills in the Philippines by beating the crap out of evil government officials or papansin celebrities—wish lang namin. #PagingVickyMorales

 So we pluck eight videogame characters out of their comfort zones and check out what kind of jobs they’ll get should they need to make ends meet, just like everyone else.


Videogame: Mortal Kombat series

Job: Jeepney Barker

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JOB RESUME: His deep, intimidating voice demands your attention. Once he starts barking, everyone will listen (and everyone will probably ride the jeep for the fear that they’d get their sorry asses kicked if they didn’t). We can hear him now:  “MOA, MOA, MOA…GET OVER HERE!”


Random pasahero: “Boss dadaan po ba ito sa kanto ng…” 
Scorpion: “Just get over here and get in the damn jeep!” 

BONUS SKILL: Do you need to ride the jeep but you’re two blocks away? No prob. He’ll just use his spear attack to reel you in. No more walking!

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 Videogame: Metal Gear series

Job: PNP Chief

JOB RESUME: You know what’s missing from our PNP? A kick-ass, astig leader. Enter Solid Snake. The dude is a spy, a special operations soldier, and has averted a potential nuclear catastrophe. We’re pretty sure the police can easily handle anything—including a hostage crisis—with him as chief. And what Pinoy wouldn't want a police boss who can fight like FPJ:

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NOTE FOR THE EMPLOYER: Someone should remind Solid Snake that there’s no Save Point or Checkpoint in real life. He can’t just press a restart button if he fails a mission.

BONUS SKILL: He'll enhance the armory...with cardboard boxes. We all know that's the Snake's most important secret to success!

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Videogame: Ace Attorney series

Job: Senator

JOB RESUME: Madam Miriam seriously has her work cut out for her. She needs someone who shares the same passion to do what’s right in case she gets sick again…or wins the 2016 Presidential Elections. That’s why we’re putting Phoenix Wright in hell, err, the Philippine Senate.

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HIS SENATORIAL CAMPAIGN SLOGAN: “You can never go wrong with Phoenix. He’s always Wright.”

BONUS SKILL: The dude is also a natural charmer and a comedian. We won’t be surprised if he starts writing pick-up lines for his privilege speeches just like Madam Miriam. Also, he'll cause a lot of breakdowns in the Senate, as shown in the video below, which means...more viral breakdown videos for us to share on Facebook!

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