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What if Jesus Was a Gadget Geek?

The tech toys that will help bro spread the Holy Word.
by Neps Firmalan | Mar 26, 2013
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Jesus approves!

Holy Week na!

'Tis the season to reflect on our lives and the sacrifices made by the best big bro of 'em all, Jesus Christ. As such, we're really beginning to have a more religious take on things. Add that to the fact that we're naturally curious dudes who worship babes and shiny tech toys with gusto. We're also able to come up with seemingly silly queries that we deem apt given the number of senakulos and pabasas we expect to happen in the coming days: So if JC was a gadget geek, what devices will He use?

We decided to give this one a serious go and we came up with gadgets that we think are bagay with the Son of God's mission and vision to spread the Good News.

1. A do-it-all smartphone

Gadgets that will help Jesus

Prime specimens: Sony Xperia Z, Samsung Galaxy S4

Why would JC use it? Jesus the miracle worker was sort of a total performer, thanks to His impressive portfolio, which includes stuff like bringing back Lazarus from the dead, turning water into wine, and walking on freakin' water. So we think He'll appreciate a gadget which can do a whole lot of things, too, like them quad-core bad boys that can hook you up to the net at 4G speeds, capture photos in hi-res glory, do apps and games seamlessly, and connect to a ton of people with a mere press of a button.

2. Tablet or e-book reader

Gadgets that will help Jesus

Prime specimens: Google Nexus 7, Kindle Fire

Why would JC use it? Aside from giving a modern take on Moses' tablet, slates (and even e-book readers) would likely serve as JC's repository of teachings and other holy texts. He'll also use them as He would, say, index cards and program guides, when He's dropping some religious bombs on listeners.

Continue reading below ↓

3. GPS system

Gadgets that will help Jesus

Prime specimen: Garmin Nuvi

Why would JC use it? When you're out to spread the Word of the Lord to all the people of the world, you're bound to do a lot of travelling. And since we're reimagining Jesus as a Techie, it's a fair bet a reliable GPS device would be part of His arsenal as a go-to device to avoid being lost, especially when He's out in the middle of nowhere. That's if He's not to keen on summoning the Heavenly Host to transport Him to safety.

4. Ultrabook

Gadgets that will help Jesus

Prime specimens: ASUS Zenbook Prime, Sony VAIO T

Why would JC use it? While smartphones and tablets might be enough if you're just after content-consumption (i.e. connecting to the net, watching movies, playing games), they won't be enough if you're burdened with JC's tasks. Just imagine the logistics, calculations, schedules, and presentations needed for His holy endeavor and you'll see these gadgets just won't cut it. He needs something with more power, one that has enough oomph while also looking good and made with portability in mind for those long travels, like an ultrabook PC.

NEXT: Going rugged and wireless to spread the Word of the Lord

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