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How To Own The Beach Like A Summer God

Pack your sunnies, your swimwear, and a whole lot of confidence
by Chandra Pepino | Mar 29, 2018
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We have at our disposal a four-day weekend, and if you’re not hopping on a plane to get to the Tokyo sakura bloom or the bustle of the United States East Coast, chances are you’re headed on a beach trip with family or friends. In a tropical country like ours, beach trips should come as second nature to us as Saturday trips to the mall—but there’s a certain gentlemanly swagger you can wield to your advantage to stand out from all the other men there. We offer you no magic solutions or foolproof ideas, simply a baseline to build up your confidence and make the most out of that beach trip.

What to Bring

Don’t rely on your titas or female friends to bring the essentials for you—besides, beach products specifically tailored for men will be better suited to your needs. Be sure to have the following: two bottles of sunscreen at least SPF 50, your own beach towel, a face towel for wiping off seawater and sweat, and a handy bottle of water (because we all know beachside concessionaires are overpriced as hell). Why did we tell you to bring two bottles of sunscreen? Well, sunscreen made for the body tends to leave a white cast on the skin, and you don’t want that shit on your face when you’re making a move—face sunscreen usually comes in a stick formula, so it’s easier to apply.

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What to Wear

If you don’t plan on buying new clothes for this trip, the key is to stick to a harmonious color scheme—that means no pairing bright red trunks with a royal blue cap. Neutral colors, like gray, navy blue, tan, and white will all look good together, but if your trunks or board shorts are printed, keep everything else simple. A color scheme will make your outfit look put together sans the effort and spending. Some things to consider, though: a hat or cap that matches up with your swimwear, a good pair of sunglasses that suit your face shape (i.e., square frames to edge out a round face), a nice button-down linen shirt to change into, but keep unbuttoned, after a dip in the ocean, and nice rubber slides instead of flip-flops.


What to Wear 2.0: The Right Swimwear

Everybody’s crazy about the uber-short Call Me By Your Name-ish trunks right now, but you don’t have to latch on to trends to garner double takes: stick to what works for your body type rather than what you’re seeing on mannequins. If you’re on the lankier side, best to avoid board shorts that cover your knees (as well as anything too loose), and if you’ve got a larger frame, a pair of good fitting trunks and, as suggested above, a button-down shirt left open (inner layer optional) is a great way to stay fashionable while chilling seaside. You’d want to avoid cotton or polyester t-shirts that cling to your body when wet, which might look unflattering. But the best top to wear at the beach, no matter your body type, is no top at all—it shows that you’re comfortable and confident in your own skin, which will always be attractive.

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How to Exude Confidence

Three words: Posture, posture, posture. Well, that’s one word, but we had to repeat it thrice so it’s burned into your brain. You don’t need to fake a confident strut—what’s important is that your back is straight (not slumped), you keep your shoulders back, your arms swing naturally to the sides as you walk. Check your posture every five or so minutes. Good posture signals openness and friendliness, which means a higher likelihood of getting approached (or at least, not being totally rejected when you do the approaching).

Your Pick-Up Line Starter Pack

Please, none of this “I hope you know CPR, because you took my breath away” horse shit. Your most effective beach pick-up lines are actually thanks to a dead founding father: the Benjamin Franklin effect, as psychologists call it, is a great way to make people like you. Humans do nice things for people we like, and not-so-nice things for people we don’t like, right? Ben Franklin asked a “hater” of his if he could borrow a book from his library, and Franklin sent the book back later on with a thank-you note. They remained friends until death. Now, at the beach, if you ask the cute girl next to you to watch your things while you buy a drink or go for a swim, or politely ask her if the sunscreen on your back has been spread evenly (as opposed to asking her to spread the sunscreen for you—that’s creepy), you facilitate a positive and approachable energy.

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