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Sep 17, 2012
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The folks at MMDA can't seem to catch a break these days. Ya'll heard about the chopped up victim rolling around in the ashpalts of EDSA Guadalupe last weekend? Street sweepers reportedly witnessed a trash bag full of body parts get ran over by random motorists, which led to its bloody contents scattering all over the road. We've never seen such classless act of brutality—a truly sick gesture that only a psychopath would think of.

At sa EDSA mo pa nakuhang magkalat?! Alam mo bang littering yan? Bawal yunatsaka ang pumatay, hayup ka!

This one definitely belongs to our list of the things we couldn't believed ever happened on EDSA. Read on to check out the rest.

Chop-chop victim jaywalks all over EDSA

MMDA street sweeper Rosalisa Flordeliz most likely had the shock of her life upon witnessing bits and pieces of a chopped up body flying all over the northbound lane of EDSA Guadalupe Sunday morning. According to Ms. Flordeliz, the body parts were inside a big plastic trash bag in the middle of the road when it was ran over by a speeding taxi. The victim, possibly a male due to a tattooed body part, has since been taken to a nearby funeral home for an autopsy. Isn't that the kind of news you'd like for a Monday?!

Bond papers flying on high traffic
Paling in comparison, but nonetheless just as out of the ordinary, are stacks and stacks of white bond papers flying all over EDSA Ortigas this morning. As of this writing, there are no news on how and why such a thing took place. Okay, it's not really headline-worthy shit, but it still caught the ire of a number of drivers traversing the rush hour traffic. And besides, it also reminded us of Jack Nicholson’s public dollah-dollah parade scene in the first Batman flick. (Michael Keaton is the best Batman evah!)

Buses hanging on railways
Of all the possible places to get into a road mishap, the scariest of all is a often congested flyover. Why? a) Depending on the severity of the accident, you might fall over the flyover; b) You can survive car crashes, you cannot survive falling off a flyover. It was only a few months ago when a passenger bus collided with the Ortigas flyover's railings.  The bus was reportedly attempting to overtake another vehicle, but instead hit a motorcycle and almost careened off the bridge—it's two front wheels dangling precariously from the railings. Around eight people were hurt, including the bus driver, who was allegedly texting someone on his cellphone just moments before the accident. As a result, an almost half-a-day death march gripped Edsa commuters.

                            
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Flaming buses running ala-Twisted Metal
We’ll let bus driver Roger Belga explain to how this whole flaming fiasco in Edsa Shaw Boulevard started: "Lumabas ang makapal na usok sa makina at biglang lumiyab. Mabilisang lumabas ng bus ang mga pasahero kaya’t wala namang nasaktan." The fire, reportedly triggered by an overheated engine, destroyed the roof and almost half of the front portion of Roger's bus. Said hubbub caused an hour’s worth of traffic before the MMDA towed the vehicle.

Counter flowing cars with a death wish
Remember that one time when one road maniac decided to screw the traffic and crash into more than twenty other vehicles full on? Frustrated with the slow moving traffic in Edsa Ortigas, the man opted to turn around and hit every car on sight, causing a counter flow disaster on Edsa Northbound lane. The MMDA soon caught up with the crazy-ass driver and proceeded to beat him up before surrendering him to the police station. “Paharang-harang sila eh,” says the suspect. “Kung paharang-harang, sagasaan.” Yep, that dude was bat-shit nuts. We just hope he didn't make the same statement in prison!

                           

WORDS BY MIKEY AGULTO
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