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8 Female Contraceptives Your Girlfriend (Probably) Never Told You About
When she gets tired of your rubber, these are the tools she can use to practice safe sex or, you know, avoid being the mother of a low-life's kids.
by Chise Alcantara | Nov 12, 2015
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In case you didn't know, the world of contraceptives isn't populated only by condoms and birth control pills. Sure, those two are probably the most popular (thanks, mainstream media!), but there are a bunch of other kinds that gets the job done.

Especially for the ladies who have a nice amount of options to choose from whenever they want to practice safe sex or avoid being the mother of a low-life's kids. The thing is, most men know little or zilch about these female contraceptives and, if you're iffy about asking her (it's a rather sensitive topic that can get nerve-wracking for men, as these guys can attest to), well, we're here to help you out!

Read on for eight kinds of female contraceptives she can use if ever you're getting tired of covering your penis with rubber (or if you really, really want to play it safe).


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Even though it may sound like pesticide for your sperm, that isn't exactly what it is. Spermicide comes in different forms, such as creams, gels, film, foams, and suppositories (supposing you don't know what those are, it's a pill you insert inside her vagina). They contain chemicals that stop sperm from charging at her egg cell. Spermicides can also be used with the other stuff on this list so a girl can be super safe if she's really not into that parenting and child-support thing.


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Who lives in her vagina, under the sheets? Spongebob Contraceptivepants! Okay, that was lame. Anyway, we're talking about a contraceptive sponge that prevents sperm from entering the uterus by blocking the cervix. It can be inserted deep into the vagina because it's soft and only two centimeters in diameter. Also, don’t worry about it getting stuck in there; there’s a handy nylon loop attached to it so you can easily pull it out!


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The girl gets injected with a hormone called progestin that keeps eggs from leaving its nest (read: the ovaries). Though these things prevent pregnancy for three months per shot, it can’t prevent STDs.


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If it were up to us, we’d probably called this thing a T-tee (for obvious reasons) but they had to go all scientific on us and call it an "intrauterine device." A lucky (depending on the circumstances) doctor inserts this T-shaped contraption into her, and it’s good for three years (hormonal IUD) to 12 years (copper IUD). It uses its flexible weird shape and hormones to affect the way your swimmers move so they can’t meet with her egg.

Continue reading below ↓


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The vaginal ring is inserted into the woman’s precious once a month, and it stays there for three weeks. It maintains the required level of hormones so that your girl can’t get pregnant even if you, uhm, Smeagol inside of her. 


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It’s basically a hat for your cervix. Just kidding. It works the same way as the sponge and can be used alongside spermicide solutions. It also looks like a sailor’s hat, if you’re into that Popeye meets Sailor Moon roleplay kind of thing. All hands on dick, erm, we mean deck, men!


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The female condom is inserted into the vagina and covers its walls and the pathway to the cervix. Sure it looks like a gigantic mutated male condom but we really shouldn’t judge it by its looks. It’s handy for both vaginal and anal sex and can prevent STDs. Couples usually use this if the male has trouble feeling the sensation of penetration when wearing a condom.


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The patch is probably one of the easiest ways to prevent pregnancy. A girl just has to place it on her skin the same way you use nicotine patches and it balances out the hormones to prevent pregnancy. A new patch is placed on the skin once a week, three weeks in a row.

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