With the World Cup 2010 all but a memory now (a painful one at that especially if you’re pro-Oranj), we’d like to take this moment to honor one of the biggest icons of this recently-concluded world sporting event: The vuvuzela.[firstpara]
Love it or hate it, the vuvuzela, the primary noisemaker in the World Cup 2010, has blasted its way into popular culture.
Now we know that South Africa isn’t just a hotbed for blood diamonds, but also for annoying instruments.
The blowing horn measures 65 centimeters, and produces a “loud, distinctive monotone note,” as described on its Wikipedia page.
And by “loud, distinctive monotone note,” this means that it can cause hearing loss, after prolonged exposure.
Even with a lot of people jockeying to get the instrument banned, FIFA people believed the vuvuzela was a cultural symbol for Africa, and so its use continued.
The aftermath: there’s now a dedicated Internet radio station that plays the vuvuzela nonstop. And who wouldn’t want to listen 24/7 to a tune that sounds exactly like a swarm of flies from hell?
Got your fill? Seeing that there won’t be any World Cup tournaments in our country anytime soon, you might be a little bit disappointed that you’d have no use for that vuvuzela you’ve just snagged off of Ebay. Fret not, we’ve thought of ways to incorporate this pleasant instrument in our daily lives. Starting with…
The vuvuzela alarm clock
How many times have you come in late for work, because that stupid alarm clock of yours just wasn’t loud enough?
With an alarm clock equipped with a vuvuzela, you’ll surely be waking up as soon as it blows, and possibly your whole neighborhood too! And you know what they say: “a community that wakes up together, stays together.”
A gavel substitute
Gavels are those hammers judges use as they scream “quiet in the court!” Sometimes though, even as the judge continues to hammer to try to quiet the people, people continue to be noisy.
When that happens, the vuvuzela could do wonders. One blow from the judge’s mighty lungs, and all them noisy court people will surely be shutting up.
WORDS BY: GELO GONZALES