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May 10, 2016
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DEAR ALMA MORENO,

Based on the latest partial and unofficial election results from the Commission on Elections Transparency Server, you rank 24th among the senatorial candidates. It's going to take a miracle for you to make it to the "Magic 12" given that 92.77 percent of votes have already been transmitted.

We know how terrible you feel right now.

To make you feel a bit better, we'd like to thank you for making the election campaign period lighter.

There's no one else who can make us LOL so hard like you did. We'll always remember your interview on the ANC morning program Headstart with Karen Davila.

Maybe you should have just prayed a little harder. As what you've said before: "Dasal lang, dasal lang talaga."

Or maybe you should have collaborated with boxer-turned-politician Manny Pacquaio a bit earlier. Maybe, just maybe, he would have listened to your plea.

But look at the brighter side. You have more supporters than senators Antonio Trillanes IV and Gringo Honasan.

It's just right to thank them...

Your supporters and the rest of the nation would probably be happier if you just go back to acting.

But thanks, Alma. Without you, there wouldn't have been a parody Twitter account featuring your, erm, loveliness. It was fun while it lasted! 

 

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